Hey kids.

Day 3 (part 1)

Sweet relief of the pain and agony came after what felt like a month, everything felt like a daze and my body was seemed to weigh nothing as I stood up, the blood that dripped on my head seemed permanent now..

I woke up as sighed, not getting good sleep at all after what happened last night, the dream still floating in his mind like a bad memory. I sat up and remembered that i had a therapy appointment today, not really excited for it but i had to go or my mom would be pissed and i don't want to disappoint her again.

I got out of bed and got dressed, then grabbed my phone off the charger to see 8 missed calls, 2 from George, 3 from Marcus, 1 from Lillian, and 2 from Arlo. i felt confused but decided to call Marcus first. The phone rang.. rang.. rang.. then i heard a click and Marcus's voice "Johnathan! dude, everyone's been trying to call you!" i flinched i bit from how loud he was being, i yawned then replied "i noticed, what happened? is everything alright?" I was worried, what if something bad had happened and i didn't know because i was asleep, my mind started to think of bad scenarios that might have happened but i stopped when Marcus talked again. "Yeah, everything's fine. we just wanted to tell you that we found something after you left, sorry if we worried you but it seemed important." I let out a sigh of relief and smiled slightly, feeling pressure get off of my chest.

I shook my head, trying to wake up still then spoke quietly. "well, that's good. can you tell me later? i have a therapy appointment to get to in a bit." I yawned again and sighed "oh, is Dr. autonomy back? well that good!" I mumbled a sort of agreement but i wasn't to sure about it being good. I hung up and looked at who else called, i called George next and unlike Marcus, he answered the phone immediately. "Hello?" I smiled slightly, for some reason, hearing his voice was nice, he had a quieter voice then the rest of my friends and that was the type of voice i needed to hear at the moment. "Hey George, i saw that you called. sorry for not answering, i was asleep" I tried to sound more genuine but my voice was to tired. "Its quite alright, did you sleep well?" I looked at the phone confused, why was he asking that? Does he know i didn't sleep well or something, i mean i know i sound tired as hell but. "Not really but its whatever."

"Oh, well do you want to talk about it?" I felt even more confused but shook it off. "Nah, i have a therapist for that. i actually have to go see him in a bit" George was quiet for a moment then spoke "You don't seem so pleased to be going." I felt surprised, was it noticeable or something? "what makes you think that?" I questioned, how does he know? "Well your tone of voice gives it away a bit, and even so, some people don't like going to therapy."

I sighed but smiled, glad someone could tell. I looked at the clock then jumped. "i have to go! see ya George!" I hung up then ran out of my room, leaving the house before my mom could say bye.

After a while, i made it in time and walked into my therapist office. Dr. autonomy was there waiting for me, reading a book when i walked in. He looked at me and smiled, then gestured for me to sit which i did almost immediately, I breathed in and looked at him when i sat down, his office always made me nervous, i always felt like i was trapped, suffocating and begging for air while people just stared and laughed, ignoring my pleas for help.. I let out breath when i realized i was holding it in, my leg bouncing slightly. "Welcome Johnathan, its been a while has it not?" I nodded slightly, my eye examining the room, trying to remember every detail of the room, it had been a while like he said. "H-how was you vacation?" I stuttered a bit which made me embarrassed. Dr. autonomy smiled at me, writing something down before looking back at me.

"How have things been? its summer now, that must be exciting." I nodded and breathed in and out. I wanted to speak but i was to scared because i might have stuttered again but i gathered courage and spoke "it is. things have been alright, i guess." I rubbed my neck nervously, avoiding eye contact with Dr. autonomy. "you guess?" I gulped slightly "how do i explain that i have been seeing a ghost, that i have felt like i have been losing more of myself everyday, like glass shattering piece by piece, that i have fears of disappointing everyone around me, that I'm scared to be myself in fear that everyone will leave me! calm down Johnathan.." My leg was bouncing more and i started to feel warm, i shook my head then sighed "Y-yeah, i guess. I just haven't been.. focused on how I've been feeling recently, have been to busy"

Dr. autonomy wrote something down on his clipboard again and sighed, readjusting his glass before looking at me. He seemed to be thinking about what to say next, which only made me feel anxious and more nervous. "So, tell me, has the journal been helping you at all?" He finally spoke after what felt like hours, i looked at the floor then at him "i would say so" He nodded slightly "You haven't gotten those thoughts have you?" I shook my head and he seemed pleased with the answer, he wrote down something else. I looked around the room again, doing anything but making eye contact with Dr. autonomy. I breathed in, trying to calm down, reminding my self that he was there to help me. "Everything will be alright. just breathe and calm down."

We talked for a bit longer then i was able to leave, i left the office. my entire body felt like it had been drained of all its energy, i just wanted to lye on the sidewalk, curl up, and go to sleep but of course i couldn't do that. I took out my phone and called Lillian "Hey Lillian" "Johnathan! So happy to hear your voice! come to my house, everyone else is here, we are waiting for you" I smiled, her voice was so cheery and nice to hear. "Alright, I'm on my way. I'll be there in a few minutes." I said bye and hung up, walking in the direction of her house, putting head phones in and listening to music.

I walked for a bit before my music stopped playing suddenly, i was confused and looked at my phone, trying figure out why is had stopped. I heard a twig snap and i turned to the sound, seeing the figure standing there, reaching a hand out to me. i freaked out and backed away, tripping and falling on my ass in the process. I seemed to surprise mist cause he had disappeared when i looked back up. i breathed in and stood up, my music coming back. I dusted myself off and ran to Lillian's house, ringing her door bell when i got there. I waited for someone to come to the door. Once Lillian's father opened the door and let me in, i went upstairs to her room, while i was walking up the stairs, my vision got foggy, i grabbed the railing of the stairs and groaned, i shook my head then kept walking up the stairs.

I got to Lillian's room and knocked on the door, she opened the door and i was pulled into a hug by all my friends. "OOF- well, this was unexpected" I breathed in and hugged them back, it felt nice.