THE ONE WITH THE DARK PAST

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So, Ashlyn is mad at me for no reason. I think it's because of the whole Jet and Maddox thing. But you know, in doing, I might just die if these feelings don't leave. We are sitting in the barn when Carlos calls attention to everyone and calls me towards him. 

"Help me with this." He whispers to me. "Thanks for coming early guys." 

"We've been up all night." Jet says

"I wonder why." Maddox shoots a look at me. No we did not do it again. It was a one time thing. Carlos sighs.

"Look, this better be good because in here, it's still last night."  Ricky says.

"We've been working on a plan to save the show." Carlos says. I turn slowly towards him then turn back towards the crowd of theater kids and smile.

"Uh, it seems like Kyra hasn't." Kourtney says.

"She has." He elbows me.

"Save the show?" Ricky asks

"He wants a little more excitement from us. A little more..." Carlos drags out

"He thinks we're boring." I say and they all gasp. 

"He's missing our rehearsal today to scout the kids at Deep Lake in Temecula." Carlos says. 

"That can't be a real place." Ricky says

"But not to worry, because we have a plan." Carlos says, ignoring Ricky's comment. "And it starts with five letters. Allow me."

"Watch what happens, fam." I say. 

"Ri-cos-il?" EJ asks

"No. It's the Real Campers Of Shallow Lake. The franchise I was always destined to join. I mean, you were." Carlos says.

"Look, it's easy." EJ says. 

"You know how normally we act like regular people," I shake my head no after Carlos says that. "pick up on social cues, care about our feelings?" EJ laughs

"Do we?" 

"Yes, we do. But now that's over. Because the key to any great reality show is the three Bs. Bombshells, Betrayals and Bitch slaps." We gasp

"Can he say that?" Kourtney asks "Look I love the housewives as much as anyone, but how are we going to pull this off when we're real students who don't have millions to burn and kids to blame?"

" Can I be team Kourtney on this?" Jet asks. My heart feels this pang of jealousy but he's just agreeing with her. Right?

"No." Great timing Carlos. "Here's what we're doing. There's the judgy one, the jilty ex, the one with the dark past, the crier, the one with the catchphrase, the one who's here for the wrong reasons, the shrink, the bad boy, and the instigator." Carlos says pointing to each one of them. "Each of you have a role to play today." 

"I'm sorry, Carlos, did you cast this?" EJ asks

"No. Me AND Kyra did." I smile remembering FINALLY what we're doing. "We're back, baby."

"Isn't this a little tawdry?" Ricky asks

"I was going to say the same thing." Kourtney says

"And that's why you, Kourt, get the judgy one." 

"But do we want to look like villains on TV?" Ricky asks 

"I'd thought you'd want to go sympathetic, that's why you get to be the jilted ex." 

"Kyra AND Ashlyn you get the one with the dark past."

"I'm dying. Yes. Wait, me and Kyra?"

"You're welcome." Carlos says

"Now, I have to deal with you more?" Ashlyn roles her eyes.

"Gadget, you're the crier and Gina"

"Ooh, I think we've already established that I can't improvise." 

"She's awful" Ashlyn says.

"I don't even have a comeback for that because I can't improvise." Gina says

"I got you boo, you're the one with the catchphrase. Just say the same thing all the time in different ways." 

"Okay. What's my phrase?" 

"'Don't get me started.'" Carlos says

"And you shouldn't" Gina says

"EJ's here for the wrong reasons, Val's the shrink, Jet's the bad boy, and I will be the instigator." Carlos says. People start talking, but I stop listening because I can't stop looking at Maddox. Maybe I do love her more than Jet. "We have four goals for today. Kyra, I hope you're listening instead of staring at Maddox." Carlos calls me out.

"I've been listening, man. Call me out like that?" I accidentally said the last part out loud. Everyone went silent. 

"Anyways, we have four goals for today. Someone needs to run out of here crying, someone needs to get slapped, someone needs to throw a drink at someone, and someone needs to get caught on a hot mic saying something scandalous." Carlos says. "Any questions?"

"Many questions. Gina says. We get a time tha Channing is coming and we get ready for rehearsal. When we walk away, Jet comes towards me.

"So, why was you staring at my sister?" He asks

"Because she seemed sad." I lie.

"You're lying. You like her huh?" I shake my head.

"No, I like you." 

"Don't lie to me. Sometimes, people should lie for a reason but now is not that time." Jet says. He walks off.

"Jet. Jet come on man." He ignores me. I've been left on the sidelines with no one to talk to. It's like marching band all over again.


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