Saving My Duke

chapter ten

everyone looks shocked around me, i watch as more and more eyes focus on us. their pestering stares are gut wrenching. i grasp onto my dress in frustration. the whispers are loud now, i can hear every little tease, every little mock.
i can't take this...
this is my wedding for gods sake!
"please refrain from addressing my husband by his first name, lady rosemary."
i glare at her, her face glowing red.
my tone is respectful, but firm.
"yes, be respectful tiana." the duke agrees, taking her hand and turning away from me. lina smiles apologetically at me as her and bertold walk away.
i watch as her family guide her away from me, all of their faces both shocked, and embarrassed. "i am terribly sorry about that, duchess seibert." duchess rosemary smiles as she escorts the lady to the other side of the room. i bow my head, smiling.
duchess.
me and ryuuji, the duke and duchess of seibert. the close warriors of the emperor, i am now finally a true seibert.

"my lady, how are you feeling?" fae questions, washing my back as the bubbles in the bath fizzle against my skin.
"i'm okay." i smile, moving my hair out of her way. her face is soft, kind.
the dim light in the bathroom is strangely warm. "forgive me if this is crude," i nod at her, wondering what she has to say. her face turns slightly red. "aren't you... nervous?" oh. that's what she means.
i laugh at her nervous face. the normally gathered, hot headed and kind fae looks so mortified. i shrug, the bath water trickling down my chest. "no, i suppose i should be, but it's ryuuji after all." i reply, my hands swilling the bubbles around the bath. "i am a little. it could hurt. and most likely it will." i whisper this part, as fae washes my hair. her face is now stern, as she stares at my silver locks in between her fingertips. "if he hurts you, mistress, tell me at once." she looks down, her face pained. "there no doubt it will hurt, but if it is unpleasant, don't feel complied to interact that way with him." she looks conflicted in some way, her voice is rough.

the lavender scented soap calms me, as i lean back, deeper into the water.
"he wouldn't hurt me, fae." i grin, staring up at the golden chandelier. "i know he wouldn't. and once more, what's a marriage if a couple cannot even do that much?" her eyes soften, but a spark of worry still remains. the dripping of the faucet is loud, as she sits there, debating on wether to speak. i can see through her facade. she doesn't want me to be in pain. it must have really upset her to see me hurt in the past, she doesn't want that for me ever again. she is truly, such a lovely young girl. she's getting older now, 2 years older than me. 18.
she will have to marry soon, also; so i can see how these worries of hers reflect onto me. but she doesn't know ryuuji like i do.
i cant let her see him in this light,
i want nothing more than for her to see him as who he truly is.
"okay, my lady. let's get you dressed."

fae clothes me in a pale pink nightgown, it is made of silk and coated with lace accents. it glimmers against the luminous light of freshly lit candles. i stare at myself in the mirror of our room, my arms are skinny and fragile, i have nothing voluptuous about me. i am merely a skinny lady, who pretends to that of a noble. i've always known i've never been like the other noble women, coy and refined. i'm shy, sure. but refined? i'm far from it. i'm simply a girl who clings to her hope of love, the hope to be appreciated by one man only. and that man, after years of fighting, is finally in my reach. i don't plan to ever let go.

i hear the door creak open, as i stare at it in the mirrors reflection. ryuujis face is cold, as he asks: "can i come in, my love?" his voice is coarse, and mysteriously melodic. i look down at my feet, my legs weak. my face is red, and i am nervous despite the constant knowing that this man will not hurt me. i know that, so why am i so scared?

perhaps, it is because, in my last life, our wedding night was painful. and awful. we were nothing but friends, and his love was one sided. i did not want to love him — the infamous future duke ryuuji of the cold north. i did not yearn for him. yes, i was friendly with him. but to be so intimate, with my friend? i couldn't bare it. why would i throw away our companionship just because of marriage? still, that night i accepted my duties. i led down and as he profusely apologised — with tears in my eyes, i let him have me. i never wanted to let him touch me again, that was; until two years after our marriage. i grew to love the seibert duchy, and the cold winter wind. i loved the duchess, and i loved my family. most importantly, i began to love ryuuji. and so, that night, two years into our marriage, i knocked on his bedroom door, despite much reluctance. he opened it right away. it was unbelievably passionate, and his touch was intoxicating. he treated me with such guilt, but hunger for my love. he was guilty, but so was i. i was ever so guilty of doubting him of my love for so long, when i knew i loved him. buried deep down, i yearned for the black haired man's touch in front of me. i wanted the duke of the north, so badly it was driving me crazy.
that hasn't changed. i still want him;
ryuuji, please say you want me too.

"yes, come in." i smile, turning around to face him. his cheeks are a deep red. he's dressed in a tight white shirt and trousers. the shirt is modelled to his body, it's making my stomach flutter. he slowly walks in, closing the door behind him. i can see reluctance in his eyes. i walk over to the bed, and sit down. he follows with me. "so, we are husband and wife now. it feels strange." i speak, starting conversation. he hums, his arm resting on his knee as his face rests on his hand. he's gazing into my eyes so strangely, it makes me feel giddy. i laugh, "what?" i mutter, looking away. the room is silent now, i can't hear anything but the rain outside as we both sit side by side. i listen to every droplet, still averting my gaze from the man in front of me. i really am nervous. "you're so beautiful." his voice is cold, as usual, but it has a piercing icy tone to it. i freeze up. "oh.." i whisper back. am i really beautiful? like he says?

i finally turn to look at him, his face is enchanting. i watch as he examines my face, his gaze looking down at my clothing also. i stare into his eyes as he slowly looks up at me, his long black eyelashes covering most of his eyes. "we don't have to if you don't want to." he mutters, seeing my tense posture. i smile, looking down at my lap. the air around me is soft, the atmosphere smooth, but capturing. i feel like i am being hexed, under a spell. all i want to do right now, is sink my teeth into this man. i am hungry for him — there's no doubt. i won't let him go, never. not in this life, and not in the next.
i look at him with determined eyes: "but i do want to..." his face is suddenly breathtakingly gorgeous, his eyes thinned and his lips pursed. his cheeks are red, and his eyes are redder.

"well then, please excuse me." he whispers in a low hum, sitting himself up and reaching for my cheek. i flinch slightly.
his hand stops, as his face turns worried. "seph-" the light around the room is dim, as i take a hold of his hand, and press it against my face. "please don't worry about me, your grace." i hush, watching as his face leans in. he stops, our mouths centimetres apart. "please, be calm. i want to be able to hold back." his voice is lower now, almost a deep grunt. my eyes widen. i hush myself, breathing in slowly. i have to be calm. he smirks.

the tension is intense as his lips hit mine, slowly kissing me. the room is filled with a demanding haze, my begging stare is met with his dreamy eyes. his lips are soft and warm. i kiss him back, wrapping my arms around his neck. i smile into the kiss as he gasps lightly, leaning back onto the bed frame as i hold him down with my touch. his hands caress my back, playing with the straps of my dress. he pulls away,
"don't be eager, sweetheart — i'm going to take my time; would that please you?.. just tell me what you would like." his soothing voice calms my desperation. i cling onto his hair, as he takes my waist. he turns with me as i hold onto him. "hm?" he deeply hums, pointing out my lack of response. i look up at him as he holds himself over-top of me. i graze my fingers on his half open shirt, stroking the buttons. his eyes are thinner now, as he stares at me with an interested look.
i undo a button: "t-this, your grace. please, let me do this." i whisper with a beggingly sweet voice. he stares into my eyes, his face full of lust. he nods slowly, as i move my hand down to the next button.

i gently let it go, as his shirt begins to fall off of his shoulders. i stare at his chest, his tanned skin and toned body is incapsulating. i take a hold of the shirt, pulling it off of him. my hand grazes his stomach, as i caress his body. his eyes are almost closed now, as his cheeks flush red. his voice is deeper now, as he gasps. i look up at him, full of desire. i watch as his eyes burn deeply, his black hair draped over his face, as sweat trickles down his neck. i pull him in, kissing his soft lips as i stare at his dishevelled appearance. he pushes deeper into the kiss, as i scratch at the back of his neck. my lips part as i sigh loudly, a small noise escaping my lips. my eyes flutter closed as he touches me with careful hands. i clutch onto the bed as i melt into him. his soft pants are so breath hitching. i bite on his bottom lip as he kisses me, as i exhale loudly between him ravishing my lips.
"your grace!" i exclaim, as i feel his finger touch my lips, hushing me. his face is stern, "ryuuji, call me ryuuji. you know that." he mumbles as i cup his chest. i swallow loudly, my neck falling back onto the pillow. he holds himself on top of me, leaning down and sucking onto my neck. i writhe as his lips tease me, my whole body in ecstasy.
it hurts, but it's so good.
i bite my lip as be nibbles my neck. i pull on his hair, pushing him into my neck more. he grunts quietly as i smile.
"darling, please don't tempt me." he whines, his fingertips teasing my waist, as he lifts up my nightgown, removing it from my body. my body jolts, the pain is so blissful. the air is thick as my pulse quickens, my body is ready to ignite. i'm dizzy as the heavy air fills my lungs.
"i love you, ryuuji." since now, before, and forever. ryuuji, i will always love you.
my short-tempered, cold duke.