Chapter twenty nine

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I woke up for school. It had been a few weeks since that last text, which not getting them is freaking me out more than getting them. Since the last picture of Blair and I there has been radio silence, my dad hasn't mentioned a word about what happened with the letters and he is currently staying silent around the rest of the family. Mum has tried to talk some sense into dad but each time he shuts her down insisting that he is right and she is wrong. He is getting infuriating to be around, each day that passes I'm happier and happier that I can leave this hellhole and go to uni.

Today Blair and I walked to school together without Marcus and Kyle. Although we love walking with them I do prefer it when it's the two of us. As we have to be more separate at school I love this snippet of time we get together in the mornings.

"Have you got another message?" Blair asked, she's been asking me that every day since I'd not been getting them.

"No. Do you think it's weird that I'm worried that I'm not getting them?" I questioned.

"Not at all, I'm still a little worried," Blair admitted.

***

We walked through the doors into the hallway. All lined up across the walls are pictures. From here I couldn't see what was on them, only that people were crowding around.

"Is it true," one guy said to Blair holding one of the pictures in his hands.

"Is what true?" Blair asked, confused.

The guy turned the photo around showing us a picture of Blair and I kissing. I pushed past people to see the wall. Almost every inch was covered in those photos. Not knowing what to do I started pulling them down but there's too many. Everyone would see. Everyone would know by the end of the school day. There is no escaping this.

"Eww you're a lesbian," someone commented as I rushed to take some more down.

People started making snide remarks at Blair and I. The room feels like it's closing in, everything is suddenly too loud. Tears threatened to come out my eyes as I tried to move, but I feel as if I'm frozen in place. Slowly I moved one leg at a time even though they feel numb and like someone is sticking pins in them. My heart is speeding up quickly like it will push out my chest. Suddenly I'm running, pushing past the fact that I can barely breathe. I need to find an exit. The room is spinning. My breath comes out in short pants. I see a door, it seems so far away. Everyone is staring at me, I can feel their eyes burning into the back of my head. Pushing through the vast crowd of people I'm met with the fresh breeze. I wipe my sweaty hands on my skirt whilst trying to control my breathing.

"Addison! Are you okay?" She sounds distant, far away. Somehow Blair made it right in front of me.

"Okay. Count to ten with me. Trust me it works," Blair said to me.

"One," deep breath "Two," deep breath "Three," deep breath "Four," deep breath "Five, ...six, ...seven, ..eight, nine, ten." My breathing slowly felt more on track and my legs and hands are becoming less numb.

"Here drink some water," Blair responded, handing me her water bottle.

I took a sip of the cool liquid feeling less like someone is holding their hands tightly around my neck. After drinking a little more I handed the bottle back to Blair.

"Thanks. I-I don't know what just happened," I responded with my hands shaking.

"I think you had a panic attack. My sister used to have them," Blair replied.

My mind feels like I'm detached from everyone and everything. I know Blair's there but she seems so far away; kind of like there is this clear glass barrier between us.

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