Dad has been weirdly happy, I know that he's having another child but it's still strange to see. He's even less distant and mum she seems to be enjoying the change in behaviour as well. Marcus and I are sitting on the sofa eating breakfast today watching Good morning Britain although it's not been the same since Piers left.
"So how do you really feel? About the baby I mean. Unless there's something else?" Marcus questioned spooning through his sloppy cornflakes.
"I don't know, I guess it's just weird. It bothers me that they're bringing another child into this world when they hardly gave us the time of day. I know mum is amazing at her job but considering she's a therapist she hasn't been the best to us" I replied putting my hand on my forehead resting my elbow on the side of the sofa.
"No there's something else you're not telling me, I mean yes I agree with what you said but I feel like you're missing out telling me something. Is it Blair?" he started nudging me wiggingly his eyebrow suggestively.
I rolled my eyes in response pushing him, nearly knocking his cornflakes out the bowl. Getting up instead of talking, grabbing my school bag and leaving after I cleaned my teeth.
***
My mind is still racing after what happened at the diner. No matter what I did to try not to think about it; it was still always there. Of course I couldn't stop thinking about having a new sibling but my mind was more occupied with Blair. Walking to school, I tried to focus my mind on the breeze, it caused leaves to fall off all different colours in the Autumn and the sweet sound of the birds chirping at the slight rays of sunlight. The sky is tinted grey and clouds hang over me. Slight drops of rain fell down overcrowding the sun. I pulled my blazer tighter around my body wishing I brought my coat or at least an umbrella.
Just before I got to school it started to pour rain like the clouds were closing in on me to make my day horrible. I don't understand how people like the rain, for one it makes you freeze but also you end up with wet hair, clothes and your makeup ruined. There is beauty in rain but being in it in the morning right before school is not exactly how I'd like to spend my time.
***
As I walked into school my hair was plastered to my face, my mascara running down my cheeks. Not to mention that my clothes are soaked so much so they are practically glued to me highlighting every ounce of my body (even my bra) making me have to do up my blazer which could look alright if I went to a different school, these blazers are way to boxy so now I'm going to be walking round all of today like a triangle.
To make matters worse the first person I see when I walk in is Blair. She was caught in the rain as well but her makeup is perfect and her hair slightly wet, her clothes are not so wet that they are sticking to her. Embarrassment washes over me, my mind stabbing itself with humiliation. My stomach twists in knots so tight anyone would think they'd been taught at boy scouts. Feeling sick to my stomach I walked past her and could hear her snicker slightly at my appearance, my cheeks flaming as I long for the floor to swallow me up.
***
At the end of the lesson, I went to open my bag to put in some books that I'd used in the lesson. Stumbling along the hallway until I reach the girls toilets, pushing through the door I slam my book onto the counter just missing the sink. When I opened it up a note came out stubbingling out the top where it has been haphazardly laying. The pink paper felt smooth under my skin but the most interesting thing was the heart scribbled on the front. Who could this be from? Hesitantly opening up the folded piece of paper my eyes adjust to the cursive writing.
The note read:
You look cute-Blair
Immediately almost dropping the note I turn my head. Looking around I saw Blair enter the girls' toilets still clad in her cheerleading outfit. She'd come back from a cheer practice they have at lunch because of the upcoming game. The headteacher still enjoys going to the games even when they're not on the school premises, she's a huge football fan although she says "soccer" instead.
Without thinking I stormed over to her. She is the only other person in here which meant she was probably later from making out with her boyfriend. These toilets are closest to the sports field and are more popular for the older years to get changed in because the changing rooms stank of year sevens body odor.
Her hair is up in a slightly messy ponytail with two blonde strands framing her face at the front.
"Why are you messing with me?!" My question turned more into a statement with the level of my voice booming off the walls and stalls that surround us.
"What do you mean? You know we should meet in the toilets more often, maybe to spice things up we can talk in the ones near the art room," She retorted looking down at her nails.
"This!" Gritting my teeth I angrily hold up the note.
"Well it's true," She responded curtly, coming closer to me so my body froze. Blair reached out and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. Her breath caressing my lips. What does she think she's doing? My heart hammers in my chest as I gaze into her viridescent eyes. Gulping slightly I will myself not to gaze down at her heart shaped lips. Failing, I study her face slowly moving down to her plump rosy lips.
"W-what are you doing?" I question my breath hitching, suddenly nervous.
Blair's angelic face comes closer towards me, making me take an inhale of breath. Surprise radiates through my body as I long for her to come closer. Her flush pink lips came closer until they brushed my cheek in a chaste sort of kiss. At first it seemed like she was going to kiss me on the lips but instead she stopped, looking like a deer caught in the headlights, I knew she hadn't meant to take it that far. Not having anything more to say she walked out like the time in the diner.
The butterflies wouldn't settle in my stomach no matter what I tried to do nor would my huge smile. I walked out of the room still feeling my crimson blush that held a place on my cheeks. Although elation flooded my veins I still had the nagging thoughts and concerns of her abandoning me yet again. She just needs time, I tell myself. Taking a deep breath, I try to shake my mind of all thoughts.
***
It's my last lesson of the day and I have chemistry with Blair. Part of me was excited to be around her but she's been so conflicting around me making me not want to bother. Why was she playing with my feelings? Probably for the sheer frill of it or some lesbian experiment, maybe to take the piss out of me for crushing on her. All these possibilities were running through my head as I sat down on my chair and waited for the class to fill the room looking like zombies finding their seats. Blair came into the room and smiled instantaneously as she saw me. As the lesson progressed she glanced at me occasionally or scooted sitting so our legs touched. Which caused the flutters to go crazy in my stomach and my breath hitched quite a few times. I tried not to turn cherry red the whole lesson or look into her eyes, knowing if I did so I'd get way too distracted.
***
Luckily on the way home, it didn't rain but it was still gloomy and grey. Although I'm not the hugest fan of the rain I have to admit I do love gloomy days, mostly when I'm inside with a cosy blanket nuzzled up with a good book.
Walking into my house my dad was shouting down his phone at one of his contacts. Instead of listening I ignored him and went to my room. I've never heard him so het up at one of his work colleagues, deciding to blame it on him being stressed. I try not to think about it.
Getting out my diary realising I haven't written in since I was trying to figure out my sexuality, taking a deep breath as I'm looking through the pages I realised how much it helped. Flipping to a new page I wrote down the contents of the day and all my questions about Blair, also anything else I've been worried about. It turned out to be relaxing then I hid it again under my mattress where I know no one will find it. My parents don't go into my room so it should be safe there.
YOU ARE READING
My crush on the cheerleader (edited)
Novela JuvenilAddison is a lesbian and has a massive crush on a cheerleader at her school. A cheerleader who is supposed to be 'straight'. But as the school year progressives so does Addison's confusion about Blair. Maybe Blair isn't as straight as she seems...
