The Run Away

Chapter 5

Dave:

I woke up the next morning rubbing my eyes and looked around. I looked out my window and the sun was so bright out, like come on sun you have to be this damn bright out? Anyway I stood up grabbing my shades and quietly went passed Karkat's room not wanting him to wake up.

I went down the stairs and quickly in the kitchen. I turned the radio on and plugged my iPod in.

Hmmm what am I up for today.

I looked through my iPod and found an old song I would do my own little mix up to. I smiled and our it on. Now I'm not going to sing my own version of it.. Ok maybe.

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..

I started to grab the mix for the pancakes humming it softly to myself.

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
And started whooping her ass worse than before
They first were divorced, throwing her over furniture

"Ah!" I said rapping to it and making everything.

It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing, you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem

*Chigga Chigga Chigga* I said making my voice sounds like turntables while pretending I had them in front of me.

"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what
Flipping the you-know-who." "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's going on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't.

I pushed my shades up more to my face and kept rapping to the song.

But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is

Turning it up more I then grabbed the whisk thing and mixed the batter and water together.

Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals.

Thats not a lie right there. Some of us are cannibles.

Who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope

I walked over to the stove turning it on waiting for it to hear up.

[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

Here it comes.

" 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?"

I rapped that part twice making me more happy as I put the Bacon down.

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records;
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Yo Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
Little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"

Starts to pour the batter on the pan.

I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
It just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

You know what. Fuck it.

" 'Cause I'm Dave Strider, yes I'm the real Strider. You other trolls rhyme but I make my tighter so wont you make Tavros please stand up please stand up please stand up."

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

Karkat:

I woke up from hearing something happening downstairs. I growled and sat up slowly but then smelled something good from downstairs.

I looked in around the room for something comfortable to wear and found some sweatpants and a gray shirt.

I walk down the stairs and heard something so awful it was making my ears ring. I got to the kitchen and heard Dave rapping to a song. I look around the corner and there he is making food. He seemed to enjoy himself a lot there. Thats when I heard him rap to it but it was weird.

" 'Cause I'm Dave Strider, yes I'm the real Strider. You other trolls rhyme but I make my tighter so wont you make Tavros please stand up please stand up please stand up."

Oh God no. Ok this needs to stop.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"