BROKEN BUT DESTINED

Beginning

The worst day of the year, for both Esther and her father, was nearing; twenty first of January, Esther's birthday. The frequent scarring alcoholic buttering and insults from the man who happened to be her biological father, were more than enough hints to remind her of her mother's death anniversary. All this pain and maltreatment was resulted by a past Esther was involved, but doesn't recall.

When they first moved to Kilifi town, her mother, Irene, was heavily pregnant with innocent baby Esther. The reason behind their moving was because of her father's sudden profiting job transfer, all the way from Nyeri. At the time, everything was going smoothly. Her father, Isaac, was a very reputed doctor with a hefty income and the couple was noticeably happy about welcoming a new member to the family.

Then the life changing day arrived. The day that completely rewrote their anticipated future. It began as a normal day for a happily married couple. Because their baby's birth was due, Isaac found a way to spend most of his time at home with his wife; but things went adversely on that unfortunate day, when an emergency call from the hospital had him hurrying back to work, leaving his expectant wife home alone.

Three hours had gone by before Irene started experiencing her contractions. Her husband had not returned, even after giving his word that he would not be gone for long. Her water broke and her contractions were getting more frequent and painful as the minutes went by. Irene tried to reach her husband but he wasn't picking her calls. She tried to shout out for help but her energy-draining efforts were fruitless. For a while, she felt completely helpless; but the thought of calling for an ambulance briefly rekindled her hope. When the labour pain became so unbearable, she came up with another possible solution and started crawling on the floor in efforts of trying to reach for the door knob and go outside to find some help.

When the ambulance arrived, the paramedics found Irene bloody and unconscious on the floor. Being well learned and fully experienced, they tried their best to keep both the mother and baby alive, before coincidentally arriving at the very same hospital her husband worked in; since it happened to be the closest. By the time word about his wife's arrival had reached Isaac, Irene was already in the operating room, fighting for both her and their baby's life.

Isaac waited outside the operating room, edgily pacing up and down in the hospital's passageway. For once, the knowledge he had as a doctor, of everything that could possibly go wrong during a cesarean birth, was nerve-racking. Momentarily, every medical subject he knew seemed to be his greatest enemy. His right leg kept on shaking and his hands won't stop trembling. His anxiety grew with every time he blamed himself for the situation his wife was in. If only he had stayed home next to her, things wouldn't have gotten this bad.

The stress was building up when the doors slowly opened and the surgeons walked out of the operating room. The sorrowful and downcast looks on their faces sent negative and heart piercing messages to Isaac. He wasn't ready to receive the bad news, but with tears flooding in his eyes and a heavy heart, he mastered the courage to ask the question whose answer still haunts his dreams till date.

"Well, how did it go?"

There was a certain tremor in his voice as he rubbed his sweaty hands together, feebly trying to look as calm as possible. At the back of his mind, he knew it wasn't going to be the best news, but he still needed to hear the affirmative answer.

"We were able to save your child Mr. Kamau, but I'm sorry; your wife didn't make it!"

Those words completely shuttered Isaac's world. Those few seconds gave rise to the desolate man he currently was. He had just gotten married to the love of his life and now she was gone; gone forever.

Isaac found it hard to admit to the fact of the matter, so he needed something or someone to blame and let out all his frustration on; and newborn baby Esther was the hapless victim. Ever since she was a baby, Esther could feel her father's deep detestation towards her. The once amazing man turned into nothing but an alcoholic. His unacceptable behaviour of going to work completely wasted every day cost Isaac his job. Nothing really mattered to him anymore. All he did was spend all the money he had made in pubs and nightclubs, drinking his lasting pain away. The successful and lovable man everyone knew, was buried six feet under together with his departed wife.

As a result, Esther's grandma moved in with them to take care of her always inebriated son and raise her neglected granddaughter. Despite her old age, she did a magnificent job at bringing up Esther with so much love and care while trying to take care of the shell of a man who always found a way to torture his daughter with every opportunity he got.

Twelve years down the line, as the law of nature goes, Esther's grandma kicked the bucket due to old age; leaving Esther in the care of her hateful father. Without anybody to cater for the family and put food on the table, Esther was forced to look for means to make a little money to help her survive in this hard-hearted world she was born into. Thankfully, her thoughtful grandma had saved up quite some amount and left it in her possession on her last fateful days. It wasn't much, but it was enough to get her through highschool and also, though it was extremely laborious, she had found some after-school part time jobs; cleaning hotel utensils, delivering food and from time to time, doing other people's laundry. Although the wage was hardly enough, she somehow managed to generally take care of herself and even sometimes, pay for her father's unpaid drinking bills.

It's been four long miserable years since her grandma's demise. Even with the burden of fending for herself at such a young age, she still had to put up with her father's violence and alcohol addiction. Thanks to her grandma, she was well aware of the reason behind his aggressive and exacerbated behavior and decided to be a patient and understanding daughter. To some extent, she also blamed herself for everything that had happened to their family. Her father made her believe, by constantly reminding her, that if she had not existed in the first place, he would still be happily married to his precious wife. Esther grew up with a mentality that, her very own existence was a curse to the family; that she, even in such an incapable state, killed her own mother.

Nevertheless, just like every other child, Esther had great dreams and aspirations. She wanted to restore her father's lost reputation and rewrite her already doomed fate by becoming a successful renown doctor. Maybe after that, she could eventually escape this hell she has been surviving in; at least that is what she earnestly hoped for. She believed she could make a difference in her life, despite all the obstacles she faced and disheartening things other nosy people told her. She held on to that dream as strongly as she could and with determination being her trusty guide, she manifested and lived every single day working towards turning that dream into a reality.