The Lost Family

I need to protect him.

Arian runs out of my house to find someone to help us.

As I wait for help to arrive, I stare at my grandma's still, lifeless body, and I replay her tragic death in my mind, trying to figure out how I could have prevented it from happening.

A solemn tear rolls down my cheek, and my vision is blurred by a sparkling layer of salty tears.

I blink so that I can continue to study my grandma, but more droplets emerge from my eyes.
I sniff and try wipe them away with my sleeve but I realise that it is covered in grandma's dried up blood and I move it away from my face in disgust.

This blood is probably going to be the last thing I have to keep as a memory of grandma, but it's going to get washed out and I'll never have anything to keep grandma close to my heart.

More tears stream down my face, and I notice Elis approaching me wearily with a scrunched up tissue in his hands.
"Um...here you go" he says with a tone of uncertainty whilst handing me the tissue.
As soon as I take it he dashes towards the corner of the room furthest away from me and sits down.

I wipe my eyes and once again stare at grandma.
I had nothing to remember her by.
Nothing.
When she's taken away all I'll have left of her will be the distant memories of her shouting in confusion and crying.

Once more, my eyes well up and I burst into sobs.
I scrunch up into a little ball to try to lower the horrible sound of me crying, but it's no use.
There are so many different emotions trying to burst out of me, using my tears and sobs as an exit route.

After I cry some more I feel a hand on my shoulder and I immediately calm down and lift my head up.

I lift my head up to see Elis in an awkward position, with an awkward, sad smile on his face, and his hand awkwardly placed on my shoulder.
Wow! Can things get anymore awkward?

"Um...there, there " he says to me quietly whilst patting me on the shoulder.
I stare at him and burst out into  raucous laughter.
He quickly recoils his hand and looks at me, a look of confusion creeping onto his face.
"W-what?"he asks me.

"You are just so comforting, and you definitely know how to make a girl who has just lost her grandma feel better " I exclaim to him sarcastically.
"Oh...well, I'm sorry " he begins to say. "I've never really had a female in my life, ever since mum died when I was 5"
My joking expression immediately disappears and is replaced by a look of empathy.
He's lost his mother too.

"I'm so sorry for your loss" I say.
"It's ok" he says to me "I don't even remember her, but Arian does. He was 8 when she died, so he has memories of her, the only thing I have to remember her by is this photo"
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small photo, which is old and tattered on the corners.
The woman in the photo is beautiful, she has bright blue eyes and blonde hair, and freckles on her cheeks.
"Wow" I gasp "she's beautiful"

"After she died, we moved house, but had to move again after 5 years because...well actually I don't know why" he explains to me and slips the precious photo back into his pocket.  "I left all my toys and my clothes, we didn't take any furniture. The only things we took was a photo album, our passports and documents"

"That must have been horrible " I say to him.
"Yeah...I was confused but I like it here, I used to live in the country side called Rahova, but in Mitrovica there are more opportunities"

He tells me some more details of himself, and events that have occurred in his short 12 year life, he suddenly stops and looks away from me.

"What's the matter" I ask him.
He doesn't reply.
I crawl around him and sit down again in front of him.
His hands are placed on his face and  from what I can see, he is crying quietly.
I place my hand on his back and rub it, attempting to comfort him.

"I'm sorry for making you cry"I say softly.
"Its not you" he manages to squeeze out between small, quiet sobs,
"I'm just scared" he admits in a way that makes it seem he is embarrassed about his feelings.

Elis bursts into a louder soulful and frightened cry, his eyes producing tears that stream down his innocent face like a water fall, his cheeks burning up in embarrassment.
I wrap myself around him, a layer of protection shielding him from the world.
I shush him, in an attempt to calm him down.
His shaking body feels weak and tired under my arms, like a young delicate baby and I feel a sudden urge I've never felt before.

I need to protect him.

I pull him to me even closer and stroke his soft limp hair, and I say phrases that I would imagine mothers say to their children,"there there" "it's going to be fine" "Don't be afraid"

After my efforts to calm him down succeed, he stops crying and sighs.
"I'm erm... sorry for that" he sniffs.
He wipes the remainder of the tears from his face and stares at me dejectedly, his once beautiful rippling pool of ocean blue eyes now covered with a cold layer of angst and desolation, as well as tears.

I break away from the hypnotic trance his eyes had set me in, I hug him passionately and tell him something that I should have said much earlier, instead of keeping my fear bottled up inside my heart, waiting to pour out at any given moment,

"I'm scared too"