The Lost Family

"Didn't someone tell you?"

It has been just over a month since my mum left.

She's been sending us some money in the mail every week so that we can buy essential items, we also write to each other often.
I tell her about how we're coping and how grandma is, and she tells me about the family she is looking after, and how their mental state is improving.
The boy that had been traumatised is less paranoid, but still gets anxious during the bombings.
I feel so sorry for him.
He's not the cute happy 7 year old I remember from seven summers ago.

In her most recent letter, mum told me that there would be a surprise package for me, so that's at least one thing to look forward to.

**************************************

It's now 7:30 a.m, and I am going to leave home and go to the post office to collect the package.
I have to leave before grandma wakes up because if she sees me gone, she will get confused and think that her "daughter" has been kidnapped or something along those lines.
Or if she sees me leaving the house, she will think that I'm going to go and cause trouble with my friends or meet up secretly with a boy.

I open and close the front door quietly, but as I walk down the driveway, I hear the front door open and I turn around to see my grandma walking towards me.
"ROSA!" She exclaims loudly. " where are you going at this time in the morning without warning me?"
"Grandma" I say to her " I'm going to the post office to pick up a package"
" yeah uhuh, a package" she says sarcastically, " you're going to go and see Endrit aren't you?"

Endrit was my mums boyfriend when she was my age, and her husband to this day. My grandma hated and still hates him, even though she doesn't know who he is, and that he's my father.

"No grandma" I said reassuringly " I won't go and see Endrit " I say impatiently.
She then gives me the "do not go and see Endrit, otherwise you'll be in BIG trouble" look, and turns around to go back into the house.

Finally after a 45 minute walk I ginally arrive at the post office and sit on the chair and wait to be called up.

As I sit, I think about how life used to be like before the war started.
How I used to go to school, study, go out with my friends, go shopping and check out the hot boys in town, all of the small things that now mean so much to me, the moments I now treasure.

After what seems like hours of daydreaming, I feel someone gently shake me and say, " you're next".
As I walk up to the desk, the woman there gives me a sorry look.

I say, "a package from Rosa Aliu please"
And she then says to me, "ngushllime", which is what someone would say if a close friend or relative of yours died.
"I'm sorry" I said cautiously, "I think you've confused me with someone else"
"no no, you're Rosa Aliu's daughter, right?" She questioned " Hana Aliu?"
"Yes, why do you want to know" I asked her impatiently.
"I'm sorry for your loss" she said again apologetically.
She was starting to get on my nerves now.

I read her name tag, it read:
'hello, I am Erona'
"Erona, I'd like to have my package now please" I said to her rudely.
"Ok" she said surprised by my sudden rudeness.
She gave me my package and said bitterly, "here's you're package, I'm sure it's the last thing you'll get from your mum"
What?

*****************************************
As I was on my way home, I bumped into a teacher from my school.
"Good morning Professor Aferdita" I say to her.
"Ngushllime" she says to me, with a sorry look on her face.
"Why does everyone keep on saying that to me!" I shout, not attempting to hide my dismay.
"No one in my family has died!"

Then it hit me.
Maybe grandma got confused and went out of the house!
Maybe she got hit by a car!
Or she fell!
I've been gone for around 4 hours, a lot can happen in that time!

"Oh my God, is it grandma, is she ok what's going o-"
"Hana, your grandma is fine" she says "didn't anyone tell you?" She asks quietly.
"Tell me WHAT?!"I say impatiently
"I don't think you want to hear this from me, I'm not the right person to tell you" she says staring at the ground, not trying to make eye contact with me.
"Just TELL ME! " I shouted, feeling tears well up in my eyes from anger and confusion.

"Hana, darling, your... your mum has been shot..." she says, with an instant look of regret appearing on her face.
I gasp at her words, tears streaming down my face. I'm speechless.
"to death..." she adds quietly, chewing her bottom lip.

All I remember after that is falling into her arms crying my heart out and it suddenly going pitch black.