You Are The Moon (BakuDeku)

Katsuki is gone (this is not a bad thing)

CROSS POSTED ON Ao3

Am I spontaneously writing and posting this BakuDeku fanfiction because of a devastatingly sad tik tok slideshow I saw at four in the morning? Yes. Yes I FUCKING am 

Should I be posting more stories? Probably not, but I am on a fucking mission. This WILL have a happy ending because I SAID SO okay. I'm COPING. School is about to start, my car is two seconds away from becoming less of a vehicle and more of a red can that just sits in the driveway, and I now have a grudge. 

Katslvt, I hope your pillow is warm and your crops are not watered. Your mind is brilliant but you are a villain. I was crying bc I have the emotional stability of a very small acorn, which really doesn't factor in because acorns don't have emotional stability, but it felt relevant. 

Anyway, this is inspired by their slideshow and by my own will and spite to always have a happy ending. Here's some relevant tags, since Wattpad's tagging system is ass

-Bakugo Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku
-TEMPORARY major character death
-Time travel
-Idk, gay shit
-Katsuki can't cope

This'll probably be pretty short idk. I don't usually write BakuDeku so we'll see how this even goes

Trigger warnings: Suicidal ideation, though nothing actually happens. Temporary major character death. Grief and mourning. Depression.

WARNING: VERY CRINGEY!!! SELF INDULGENT FIC BC IM MENTALLY ILL

Third person pov

In the wake of Izuku's death, Katsuki realizes that he will never, ever be okay again.

Through every phase of Katsuki's life, Izuku could be seen through a different lens. He was there in the foreground of every moment that mattered, with his riveting smile and sparkling eyes. With all his brilliant intellect and optimism, he lit Katsuki's world up with color he hadn't even realized was there until it was gone.

Izuku Midoriya loved like it was a marathon, and Katsuki was somehow lucky enough to experience that himself. Even in the times he was foolish enough to shove him off as an annoyance, to lash out because of his own inferiority and fear, Izuku never once took a step back from him. He never once left him.

That is why it's so impossible to think that he has now.

Katsuki was foul growing up. His perception of Izuku and of society itself had twisted and warped into this untamable monster. He was angry all the time and he never knew what to do with it, and his teachers and peers never failed to praise him for the beast he was becoming, either unaware or uncaring of what he was coming to be.

Even at his worst, they still tried to draw nearer simply because he had power enough within the construct of society to excuse his words and actions. They knew from the moment he awakened his quirk exactly the path he was heading down, and they'd wanted a piece of that.

Izuku was the only one who stayed not for his quirk, but for Katsuki himself. And he hates that it took him so long to see that. He hates that the moment he realized exactly what he had, it was ripped away from him so surely.

Izuku has never looked down at him. Izuku has loved him hopelessly and fully, in a way only someone with a heart like his ever could. His admiration was just as pure and good as the rest of him, no strings attached. Katsuki could've had no quirk at all and Izuku would've looked at him the exact same way.

He was wonderful. He was determined, and he was strong, and he was a hell of a lot more than Katsuki deserved. Izuku was everything, and now... now he is nothing at all.

He will never laugh again. He will never smile again. He will never mumble, or blush, or lose his mind over quirks. He will never get hurt, he will never get better, he will never breathe or eat his favorite foods or observe the world with those evergreen eyes and see the light in it ever again.