Wither & Bloom

V - Relapse

Silence and cold night breeze mingled in the atmosphere as it was just the two of them inside the room, a space they had once shared together as a couple. Suzy and Joohyuk both came home from work, yet no matter how tired they are, they knew they needed to continue discussing about their lives. At least to get things settled between them, if not to cease the dispute.

Joohyuk broke the silence first. "I know that was careless of me, but I was serious about what I said earlier." He initiated as he looked at her staring at anywhere else but him.

"Do you even know what would that mean for the both of us? We're divorced for a reason, you should know that." Suzy emphasized.

"How could I ever forget," Joohyuk replied almost quietly.

"Then why suggest something like that," she asked in a tone colder than ever. "It just doesn't make sense to me."

"I know we're separated now," he reluctantly began. "But for which sake are we doing this?" He added to finish off his sentence.

Suzy's brows furrowed. "Are you questioning my decision?" She asked solemnly, giving all her might not to raise her voice.

"Are we not living together because that's what you want? Or are we not living together because that's what the divorce papers are implying us to do?" He questioned.

"The moment I told you we're getting a divorce, of course I had my mind made up about it. We're going to live separately." Suzy fired back.

"Is that really what you want?" Joohyuk asked. "Don't you want someone to help you take care of Sujin? Don't you want someone to take care of you? Those should've been my responsibilities Suzy-ah." 

Her patience was cut short as she heard his words. "If you know your responsibilities so well then why did my son almost had to die!" She exclaimed at him, eventually bursting into tears.

The look on Joohyuk's eyes softened as he saw her crying. He immediately tended to her for an embrace. "Mianhe. Jeongmal mianhe." It was all he could say as he held her tight.

"Do you think we're all good just because Sujin is fine now? Do you think I don't get anxious each time I leave him with you?" She spoke gravely as her tears kept flowing. "I don't trust you still," she said in a calm manner, but the way she looked at him felt otherwise.

Joohyuk knew by her gaze that she was still mad at him for the same old reason. He couldn't blame her though — he had made a mistake, something that is totally not trivial at all.

"I know I can never fully make it up to you or Sujin," Joohyuk said softly, brushing away a few strands of hair from Suzy's face. "But please let me try."

Suzy pulled away from him and wiped her tears on her own with the back of her hand. "You don't have to do that," she said firmly.

"What do you want me to do then?" He asked desperately.

Suzy took a deep breath, trying to steady her emotions. "Just," she finally began. "Just leave for now. Jebal."

Joohyuk hesitated for a moment, wanting to plead her more. But he could see the exhaustion in her eyes and knew it would be futile. He tamely withdrew from the conversation just as she wanted.

As he walked towards the door, he called her softly once more, "Suzy-ah."

"Jebal," she firmly begged with an exhausted voice. Suzy ought to discuss no longer.

Joohyuk gave in to the request and left, breathing deeply as he let her have what she needed. As he stepped out into the cool night air, his mind raced with thoughts of regret and guilt. He didn't know how to fix things between them, but he knew that leaving wasn't going to make anything better.