I Should Have Listened

I should have listened

I sit here everyday wondering what I'm going to do with my life

I sit here everyday pondering what I'm going to do with my life

I sit here everyday contemplating what I haven't done with my life

What I could have done with my life

What I wanted to do with my life

What I should have done with my life

I should have listened

I pull out my cigarette

I light it up

Place it to my lips

Inhale

Then exhale

I watch as the smoke forms and dissipates in front of me

I feel so high

How much lower can the ceiling get?

This is what I do

This is what I crave

Every day of the week

Hour of the day

Minute of the hour

Second of the minute

This is what I long for

This moment

This moment that I slowly commit suicide

I should have listened

Time and time again I say im going to stop

Time and time again that idea keeps getting dropped

Maybe one day I'll free myself from this cage

This cage that I locked myself in

I'm trapped, I'm a prisoner, I'm a victim

But do I really mind?

Job Gone

Friends gone

Family given up

Teeth yellower

Skin paler

Eyes redder

Everything that could be wrong with me is wrong with me

And yet I still go back for more

I should have listened