Psych 🍍 [Season One]

Spelling Bee

Outside a diner,Shawn buys a newspaper from a vending machine before going inside. He goes inside the diner. Shawn pulls up short when he sees a blonde sitting at the counter reading a newspaper. He walks up to the counter, puts down the paper and leans over.

Shawn:Excuse me, you're in my seat.

Blonde: (looked at him) Am I?

Shawn: (nods) Actually, yes, you are.

Blonde: (looked at him) Are you one of those weirdo compulsives who come to the same restaurant, sit in the same chair, and eat the same food every day?

Shawn: (shakes his head)Uh, no, no, no. I was sitting right there three minutes ago, and then I went outside to get myself a paper. (shows paper) I ordered the juice, (lifts cup) and look I made a crawling snake with the straw wrapper. (holds wrapper) You can finish it if you think you're up to the job.

Blonde: (looked at him) I'm sorry. You want me to move?

Shawn: Not anymore. (drops wrapper and sits next to her) So, what's up?

Blonde: I don't have time to talk.

Shawn: But you haven't heard what I'm going to say.

Blonde: See, now we've already talked more than I wanted to.

The blonde leans over and reaches for her purse, giving Shawn time to look at its contents. He sees pet hair on her shoes and sleeve as well as a photo of her parents.

Shawn:Well, I did give you my seat, you know. I think that gets me one question.

Blonde: Listen, diner guy...

Shawn: (looked at her) Shawn.

Blonde: Shawn. Flattered, really. Very often, I am happy to meet new people, but today, right here, right now, I can't talk.

Shawn: I understand. I do. What if I do the talking for both of us? And there was no flattery

Blonde: Have at it. Do you mind if I read the paper and stare aimlessly out the window while you two talk?

Shawn: No. Can I get a name to work with? (sips juice)

Blonde: Juliet.

Shawn: Well, it's very nice to meet you, Juliet. (girlish) It's nice to meet you, too, Shawn, and I'm sorry about your seat, so lunch is on me. So, what do you do for a living? (normal) I do a little bit of everything. (girlish) Oh, that sounds interesting, and maybe a little bit dangerous. Ooh, I like your jacket. I like it...

Juliet: Okay, can I stop you there? First off, in your portrayal of me, I sound like I'm in the eighth grade. Plust I don't like that jacket.

Shawn: Well, in my portrayal of you, you only have an eighth grade education. All right, smarten you up. College? Yeah? Top of your class, graduated early... got it. (womanly) I'm new to town and I don't know many people... but I do know my cats. Two of them. The gray one is very affectionate. The white one makes me work much, much harder for the attention. (regular) And what about your family? (womanly) My family's amazing. My parents have been together for, what is it, 30 years now? And you might not like my jacket but I know someone who does.

Juliet: Okay, do we know each other?

Shawn: Yes, you are the girl who stole my seat.

The door opens and a tall man wearing a torn grey sweatshirt, jeans and a baseball cap enters Juliet's smile fades. She looks over her shoulder and puts her right hand on her purse before looking back at her newspaper.

Shawn:(whispers) Oh, my gosh. You're a cop.

Juliet: I'm not a cop.

Shawn: The paper, the vantage point, the layout. of course. You got defensive when scary guy walked in. You're totally a cop.