Broken Memories

Truth

Dinah broke apart the kiss and bit her lip before nervously uttering her next words to Lauren

"I think you should go to the hospital."

"No, Dinah no. I can't go through that again." Lauren's breath caught in her throat with panic and desperation

"Again?" Dinah's eyes widened

"It doesn't matter okay? I-Please Dinah please don't make me go please don-" Lauren's breathing quickened and she knew she was having a panic attack

"Lauren deep breaths. Copy me, slow and steady." Dinah was calm enough to help Lauren now and when Lauren had calmed down too Dinah resumed their conversation

"I won't take you there," Dinah said and Lauren breathed a sigh of relief but Dinah hadn't finished

"if you let me help you. Lauren I can't-" Dinah's voice cracked and she licked her dry lips "I can't lose you."

Lauren looked down, she felt guilty. But at the same time honoured that Dinah had stayed and stopped her.

She didn't want to be stopped to be truthful about it but Dinah was there. She didn't know how she felt about that. She was still glad of her presence in this moment nonetheless.

Lauren couldn't make any promises that Dinah would never lose the girl she loved. So she rested her head against her chest and took her hand playing mindlessly with it.

"I'm sorry." Lauren apologised, she didn't dare to look at the scattered pills on the floor, she was still too tempted to face them.

Dinah nodded resting her head on Lauren with a sigh "How many times have you tried to," Dinah gulped "do this." She couldn't bear to say it.

"4 times." Lauren's voice only came out as a mere whisper

"4?" Dinah's voice cracked with despair and Lauren simply nodded slowly

"I wish someone would have been here for you then." Dinah said thoughtfully

Lauren felt it would be inappropriate to say the "I don't" answer so she said nothing in response to her

"Would you have done it? If I hadn't been here?..Be honest." Dinah wanted to know the truth from Lauren

Lauren took in a deep breath and nodded with a whisper "Yes."

Dinah bit her lip and wiped her eyes as tears resurfaced "Well I'm here. And you've got me now. I'm here Lauren. And I'm not leaving you."

Lauren's eyes analysed Dinah's, searching for some sort of indication that she was lying but there was none, she actually meant it.

"Why did you save me?" Lauren asked in a small voice

"Because you're worth saving." Dinah said confidently

Lauren's eyes filled with tears as she looked up at Dinah "..Am I?"

Dinah nodded pulling Lauren into a long meaningful hug "You are."

Dinah kissed her forehead and tightened her hold on Lauren.
Lauren just stared ahead of her at a wall as tears slowly trickled down her cheeks without her knowing until Dinah wiped them away.

Lauren made the mistake of looking at the pills on the floor and tentatively reached for them before Dinah took her hand back "Lauren don't."

"But it hurts." Lauren whispered and Dinah nodded knowingly "That's still not the answer, believe me Laur."

Lauren sighed deeply as her bottom lip trembled, a sign she was starting to cry again. But it would be more than just a few silent tears.

"Don't cry Lauren." Dinah begged attaching their lips as a distraction, Lauren melted into the kiss at first before the first sob broke them apart