Ishq | (complete)

67 | sabr

 ❝jo acha lagta hai woh har hal mein acha lagta hai❞

Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear

Laila's eyes remained on the phone and that reminder she had set for herself. Even with that reminder placed right on the wallpaper, the hope within her heart started to wither. Like a dandelion flower, the wind of her fate was taking it away. The stillness after the past events didn't feel calm. It seemed almost like an ominous shadow or the calm before the storm. So much that the verse didn't hold her hope sometimes. Because each time the report came, it chipped away her hope.

From the start her tests had been clear, each doctor she went to told her that there was nothing wrong. She just had to keep trying. Yet here she was months later, each test held a bitter mark of negative. With each no, grief seeped into her veins, fracturing her hope, her dreams of becoming a mother. She hadn't thought she'd have to deal with this. In her heart and hope becoming a mother was so vivid and a hopeful wish that would come true. Now here she was almost at the verge of letting it go. Her eyes always carried the unshed tears. What if it remained a dream?

It wasn't just herself that she hid those unshed tears from. It was him as well. Every time the negative of her test came to haunt her she found ways to escape him. If she couldn't shield herself from the agony, at least she could protect him. So protecting him became a silent priority for her. Aware of his own journey of accepting to become a father, Laila chose to not put more weight on him.

This time when the negative came to sting her, she found her refuge in the walls of church. She seeked the comfort of the walls that kept her wounded spirit protected. As the sunlight filtered through the stained glass, the colors moved across the pews, reminding her she had been there for a while. Despite the ticking clock, she was unable to find the strength in her soul to get up and move as her eyes found the children playing in the yard.

Her gaze dipped in sorrow filled hope again. Her mind created a vision for her. Her and Shehryar holding their own joy in their arms. The unshed tears found their way and Laila's eyes blurred, washing away her vision. Her tears fell like people fell on their knees to pray, filled with ache and desperate for hope.

"I'm looking for my wife." His soft yet searching voice found her and with that the soft penguin landed in her lap. Their Sher Khan. Not even her tears could stop her from smiling as she held onto that little penguin. "Have you seen my wife?" In her peripheral he found a seat next to her. His tall frame barely fit into the pew. The moment seemed to have reincarnated itself from their past. Yet unlike the last time, Mother Margaret's soul wasn't here and Laila's heart carried a different layer of sorrow this time. Laila's eyes shifted and met his. The ones that held concern for her and still a bit of humor. The eyes that had held her through the storms and the sunlight. Like the eyes, the stuffed penguin had been the witness to their relationship. A love that won wars against everything and everyone.

"Shehryar." She whispered, his name slipped from her lips with guilt. When their gaze met, Laila's heart ached. He knew. How foolish of her to even think that he wouldn't know. That she could hide anything from this man. This was the man who knew of every mark and scar on her body and her soul.

"You took the test again?" His words held concern and a bit of frustration along with a flicker of anger. He had told her many times, pleaded even, to stop inflicting the pain on herself, to stop the relentless torment. Despite that she had been desperate. The glimmer of hope pushed her, maybe it would be different every time she tried. Week after week the reality flashed back at her with disappointment. As the heartbreak touched her, his heart ached in tandem with her.