Lying to Ourselves

14.Hate that I love you

Ava bit at the inside of her cheek, tasting blood for the briefest moment before the Halo hummed quietly, closing the wound. She probably shouldn't be wasting power like this, but the sting of pain followed by the heat of the relic healing the ragged flesh was oddly grounding.

Ava was, once again, pissed at Bea.

She stirred at the tickle of warm breath ghosting over her ear and it took far too long to work out whose breath it was. When Ava realized who exactly was behind her, she inhaled sharply. The Halo bearer was wrapped in Bea's toned arms, her back tightly slotted against the sister warrior's front. The same position they had been in at the hotel in Madrid...the same position that had made Bea lose her shit.

How the fuck they had ended up like this Ava didn't know. She racked her brain for a way out that wouldnt involve waking her bedmate, the last thing she wanted was another fight. But then the taller woman shifted a little and Ava tensed, it was too late to make her escape. She prepared herself for the inevitable.

"Ava...? Relax." Bea's voice rumbled against her back, "It's okay..."

The Halo bearer did, but only minutely, it seemed like a trap. Why would the rules have suddenly changed? Was it because of Bea's admission? It kind of irked her, especially after the nun had made it clear they couldn't be with each other.

A few minutes of silence passed, both women awake and aware of how they were tangled together, before Ava couldn't stand it anymore. She had to ask, she had to know.

"Bea?"

The Halo bearer tried not to gasp as the arms around her tightened fractionally, somehow pulling her even deeper into the sister warrior's chest. Bea buried her face into the back of Ava's neck.

"Yes, darling?"

Ava shivered at the sleepy words breathed into her hair, feeling a low swoop in her belly at the pet name.

"Why are we...why am I here?" She stuttered, trying to regain composure.

Bea stiffened immediately at the question, lifting her head from Ava's back "You don't remember?"

She sounded concerned, really concerned. The Halo bearer awkwardly rolled over within the confines of the embrace so she could meet the caramel eyes of her best friend. The sister warrior pulled back slightly, frowning down at Ava who was now lying on her back.

"No?" Dread formed a lump in her throat as she watched Bea worry her lip between her teeth, "What happened?"

"You had a nightmare, I think...which led to a panic attack..."

"Oh." The memory of yesterday slammed into her with so much force it nearly kicked off a brand-new panic attack.

The dream about Adriel, Micheal's plan, collapsing in the hallway outside the bathroom, images flashed through her head, each more painful than the last. Ava took a shaky breath in trying to stem the flow of anxiety that was tearing through her. That's why she was here, in her best friend's bed, Bea was comforting her because she...because she didn't want to die.

The Halo bearer didn't realize she was crying until she felt gentle fingertips brushing the tears away, Bea offered her a small sympathetic smile.

"Thanks for being there..." Ava whispered when she could form a coherent sentence, catching the hand drying her cheeks and pressing her lips to the back of it.

She knew she was pushing her luck but seeing Bea blush at the gesture without snatching her hand away gave the younger woman an unmatched thrill.