𝗺𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝗼𝐥𝗼 𝐢𝗺𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 ✰

𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝗼𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝗼𝐧 ✰ ~ 𝗺𝐚𝐭𝐭

i hate summer. with my entire being.

the sun. the sweat. the heat. summer clothes. but most of all, the summer depression.

the feeling and thought of knowing that all my friends are busy and busy forgetting about me whilst all i can do is lay in bed all day.

i can't bring myself to anything else. and half the time, i can barely bring myself to even go on my phone or turn on my tv so i lay there on my back, staring at the ceiling.

i feel so much yet so little. like everything i've ever felt, i'm feeling. yet i feel absolutely nothing.

i get this built up feeling in my chest. my chest feels tight and like it's about to burst. i don't know what to do with myself.

i cant cry. i cant let myself feel it all. i can't sleep. i can't eat. i physically cannot do any of those.

i'll randomly want to cry. the tears are in my eyes. they never manage to fall.

it's like i leave the earth. i barely leave the house. barely talk to anyone, even my family.

and it's been that way for years.

well, until this year. this year i have an amazing boyfriend, matt.

as much as i hate leaving the house, and hate it even more in summer, he's made me almost everyday so far.

i'm almost always at the triplets and rarely home and if i am, matts most likely there.

this summer, the only reason i can't sleep is because im constantly thinking of matt. and if he's not there, im craving his touch.

i just woke up in his bed, his arms around my waist.

he's still asleep but i need water. i try to remove his arms from my waist gently as to not wake him up but i guess i failed.

"noooo baby come baaack" he whines and wraps his arms back around my waist.

"matt, i need water" i say softly.

"i dont care" he says and pulls me closer to him, "how are you? you okay?" he asks me genuinely after a few seconds.

matt knows about my history with summers and since he found out, he's asked me that question a lot everyday.

"i'm perfectly fine" i say, admiring defeat and fully laying back down, cuddling into him again.

"good" he says and kissed my head.

before i know it, i'm back asleep in my living boyfriends arms.

a/n
it's like 5 in the morning and i haven't slept so this is probably really bad and even tho im not tired i cba to make it better
sorry 💋
anyway
i only thought of taylor when i wrote "perfectly fine"

have a good day <3

also i promise the next imagine will be better than this shit 😭 im just so bored rn