A Shiny Future

Chapter 29 | Mistake

I startled awake at the sound of the bell. It took me a moment to get my bearings, but as soon as I did, I grabbed my stuff and hurried out of the gym.

I walked to my next class in a daze. I kept telling myself it was because my brain was still thick with sleep, but I knew the real reason in the back of my mind. And I was determined to keep it there.

The last thing I wanted to do in that moment was go to my next class and have to see Mirae. But I figured it wasn't a good idea to skip two classes in a row. One could possibly be explained away; definitely unlikely to be able to do two, though.

Mirae watched me strangely as I sat down. "Are you sleep walking right now?"

"What?" I muttered, only half registering what she was saying.

"Since when do you choose to sit by me in any scenario?"

I froze, suddenly wide awake. What was I doing? Was I really that tired that I made such an uncharacteristically stupid decision?

"Yoongles," Mirae said in a sickeningly sweet tone that made me cringe. "Have you finally warmed up to me?"

"God no," I said, being sure to use more contempt in my tone than was necessary. "Muscle memory. And if you remember, I sat here initially. You invaded my space."

"Yoongles." I refused to look at her, but I could hear the smirk in her voice. "You finally enjoy my company!"

I snorted derisively. "Fine, I'll mo – " But before I could finish my sentence, let alone get up and change seats, the teacher began class.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Yoooongles! Are you excited to sit with me at lunch?!"

"No," I growled.

She wasn't letting it go. It was annoying at first...exasperating. But now, as we were walking to the cafeteria and she was keeping on and on and on about it, I was starting to get angry.

"Yoon – "

I stopped walking and turned to face her. "Mirae, stop." Her mouth clamped shut at the look on my face. "Stop teasing me, stop calling me that stupid nickname, stop following me around like a lost puppy. I mean it; I'm not in the mood right now."

Once we sat down at the table, she stole a few glances at me. She began to relax as she noticed that I was calming down. The silence that had fallen between us had almost become comfortable, and I was grateful that she'd let it go and the moment of tension had passed.

"Yoongles!" My head shot up. Mirae was snapping her fingers in front of my face.

I sighed with annoyance. "What?"

"You're doing it again."

"Am I not allowed to be consumed by thoughts sometimes?" I quipped.

"Not when they put that look on your face."

I narrowed my eyes. I began to feel angry again. Because I knew exactly what she was talking about, and I hated that she could see it. It - she - made me feel, yet again, like nothing was private anymore.

"You know what I was thinking about the other day, Yoongles?"

"I don't fucking care," I said.

Mirae sighed, unbothered by my harsh words. "I wish you'd talk to me, Yoongles. You and I both know something is wrong."

"Well, I wish you'd leave me alone. And I wish you'd stop calling me Yoongles. And I wish you'd butt out of my business. But I guess neither of us are going to get what we want."

"Yoong – "

And my patience snapped.

"Leave me alone," I hissed. "Why do you persist in trying to get me to be nice to you? I'll never be nice to you!"

"But you were, once."

"And it was a fucking mistake!"

My eyes widened at the exact same time as hers. I immediately wished I could take it back. I immediately felt like - no, knew - I was the biggest asshole on the planet.

"So, you wish I'd gotten raped?"

"That's not – "

"You know, you once told me you're not heartless," she snapped. "You're doing a really piss poor job of proving that right now, Yoongi." She spat my name at me as though I was no longer worthy of her nickname for me.

I knew she was right. And maybe I was heartless, because my next thought was that this was my opportunity. This was how I could get rid of her once and for all.

"Well then maybe I was lying! Maybe I am! How have I proven to you otherwise in the entire time we've known each other anyway?!"

"Because you didn't let me get raped," she hissed. "I don't think you actually mean what you just said. You're an asshole for saying it, but you didn't mean it."

"Believe what you want," I said dismissively. "You'll do whatever you want to anyway. That's all you ever do."

"All I ever wanted to do was help you, Yoongles."

"Who said I needed help?!"

"You were all alone. You didn't know anybody. You didn't – "

"And I made it pretty damn clear that I liked it that way!"

"But why?! Explain it to me, Yoongles. Why are you so against having friends?"

"None of your business," I damn near shouted. She visibly recoiled at my brutal tone.

"You know nothing about me," I continued, my tone becoming more dangerous with each word. "You know nothing about my past. You know nothing about my opinions or my feelings or my fucking experiences!"

If I hadn't been keenly aware of the amount of people around us, I'd have been yelling at her. It was taking everything in me not to. "Even if I wanted friends," I hissed. "what makes you think I'd choose you? You, who waltzed into my space and my business just because you had some stupid axe to grind to prove yourself to your friends!"

There was a moment of silence as I tried to slow my angry breathing, and she seemed to contemplate her response.

"That's not the main reason I decided to approach you," she said calmly.

I still wasn't calm. "Then why?!" I snarled. "Why are you so fucking insistent on me having friends?!"

"You're lonely."

Her response stunned me, then infuriated me.

"Yeah, well, you're crazy!"

She sucked in a small yet sharp breath. She blinked at me a couple of times before looking down. She stayed that way for a moment until she nodded, looked back up, and locked eyes with me. "You should have just said that from the very beginning," she said quietly.

"What does that even mean?!" I demanded, annoyed that she was now being cryptic.

She stood, picked up her backpack, and looked me in the eyes again. "Goodbye, Yoongi."

And she walked away.