Luminaria

Chapter 2

Princess

It is often said that after death, one is bound to either ascend to heaven or descend to hell. The deeds, both good and sinful, committed during one's lifetime are thought to determine their rightful place in the afterlife.

At sa katayuan ko'y hindi na bago ang matawag na makasalanan. I am consistently labeled as the bratty troublemaker within any group, often referred to be disrespectful and profane—often, worse than those.  I always demand precision and perfection in my viewpoint or else you'll encounter the worst of me. Therefore, after my death, I prepared myself the hell they always say I belonged.

I expected it to be a burning place, like a sea of lavas or overflowing fire burning a sinner's soul without dying. Chaotic and painful screams, wishing to be forgiven or to simply end the misery of an inferno's blaze. Walang kapatawaran, isang parusang hindi na mababali pa, where everyone in hell would simply begged to be killed but the thing is... death isn't after you anymore. Pain, agony, and regret is what you are bound to feel.

Minarka ko ang paniniwalang 'yon sa aking isipan. Everyone secretly anticipated for me to end up suffering in hell and gradually, I accepted it as though a written and tattooed destiny for me.

But just in a snap, my beliefs seemed to broke like a fallen glass.

I died. I lost so much blood and didn't have the chance to apply any medication. I fell from a cliff with a criminal. I let my eyes bore into the moon for the last time until waves crashed me, it consumed my body, darkness swallowed me. I died in the ocean.

Those memories flowed in my mind like an endless falls. Patuloy ang pag-agos nito. Lilim ng aking pag-iisip ay ang walang tigil kong pagdama sa paligid, at kahit ilang beses kong itanggi ay takot akong tuluyang imulat ang mata at masunog nang walang katapusan... nang walang kamatayan.

I shook my head and coldness was the only caress I could feel—far from my imaginations.

Is this the hell? Kabaliktaran ba nito ang pinaniniwalaan ng lahat?

I'm literally shaking abnormally and suddenly have the urge to open my eyes, anticipating to feel the burning hell's heat 'cause I'm utterly shivering to death... Oh! I'm dead na pala!

Shit?! I'm dead... Nakaramdam ako ng takot sa sarili. I-im ghost now?

Dulot ng mga iniisip ay mabilis kong inangat ang talukap ng aking mga mata. Kadiliman. Hanggang kailan ko nga ba ito haharapin at patuloy na lalabanan. Even in this unknown place, I was welcome by the darkness.

Where is it? Where is the burning hell I'm supposed to end up?

Bakit lamig ang bumabalot sa aking katawan? Where are the chaotic screams? Why is this place covered by ear flitting silence. Is it the opposite? Nanghihina'y, pinakiramdaman ko ang paligid. I am lying on a cold dark room, a heavy grasp stopping me to move. I adjusted my sight from the darkness, narrowing my gaze to my body heaved by... Chains.

Am I imprisoned?!

Binaliktad ba ako sa criminal kaya ako ang nakakulong ngayon? For goodness sake! The girl I saved should've been a fucking witness!

I couldn't let out my thoughts because my dry lips and throat, numb and stingy tongue seemed to be paralyzed. I didn't move a flinch, feeling so weak that even a slight nod is draining my system.

Nanatiling nanlalaki ang aking mata dahil sa namumuong konklusyon at 'di makontrol na emosyon sa aking kaloob-looban. Mabigat ang bawat hiningang binibitawan ko, pilit na binabalik ang aking lakas.

I'm alive. The coldness of this room made me want to feel the heat from hell for a moment.

I didn't know how long I've been deeply thinking, but the thing in my mind thinks sole conclusion.