Starting high school, woah what a breeze said no human ever existing. Thinking finishing junior high was going to be amazing, think again. Grade 10 urr, like why, ive already lost most of my friends in junior high, let's add on another three years of eating at the lunch table alone. I constantly hate my self over and over again, wishing for it all to be over. And when I thought I was getting back in the hang of things, my only friend Neveah, has to go and date my ex. How can I live knowing she broke the girl code leaving me in the dust, and not talking to me again."Everyone" is like well whatever you'll find another man, well bull shit. She knew I still liked him, but had to ask him out without me knowing. Its pretty sad when someone else has to tell you a day later. I constantly live in fear thinking that I will be lied to or hurt again, but the best people will say is "oh don't worry you'll get better". Well whatever makes you sleep at night. Why is it always me, I ask myself maybe someone else would like this instead, but whatever right? Who am I supposed to talk to at highschool, The wall? These thoughts have been racing through my mind all morning when I was walking to school.
oh god.
Walking up those highschool stairs then turning around because your a chicken shit. Knowing me I'm afraid of everything I can't even go to school anymore knowing I could get made fun of. But what a stupid fucking reason no wonder I get made fun of. I try to fit in, but I can't even walk in the doors. Its not like I haven't been there before. I've actually been there a couple times. One day I just didn't want to be afraid anymore. I wanted to live my life like everyone else does.
Once I had the actual nerve to go inside, it didn't last long. I think I actually almost pissed my pants. What the fuck is wrong with me, I'm such a messed up child. I wanted to be normal like everyone else is that supposed to be a bad thing? Since I was stupid I missed school breakfast, and now I was going to do shit in the classrooms, trying to work on an empty stomach. But whatever right I had ten more minutes of sitting alone like a retard. Only ten more minutes. Thank god. A couple minutes before bell I decided to go to my locker. It was weird having so many new faces next to me. I tryed not to look at them though. Except that one guy oh my fucking gawd, he was gorgious, who could resist those eyes? Maybe this school wouldn't be too bad?
