𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 — 2012 "I don't mind if you become distant. I'm taking all the risks."
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"Yah, Cho Sooji. Show some manners. Your brother is here. I heard your evaluation is tomorrow, that's why you must stay up this late," Jiyong showed his gummy smile.
An hour ago, other trainees started leaving the practice room. While Sooji and some trainees are still practicing their moves for tomorrow. When Jiyong showed up in the room, looking for Sooji. The two ended up in the pantry, while Sooji put candy under her tongue to give some sweets since she almost lost her balance after starving herself.
Sooji can't help but avoid Jiyong's stares. "Are you tired? I heard that you've been staying here for three days. You should get some rest. I'm sorry I'm visiting you at the wrong time," Jiyong patted her hair.
She recalls what she heard from Yeseul through the phone, "How could you not know? Their pictures are everywhere. Media said they had been seeing each other since 2010. Besides, from everyone in the world, why do you even like him? I thought you two are just brother and sister."
Sooji can't deny how hurt she was hearing Yeseul's words. Blaming herself for why she hadn't heard the news before falling into him. Yeseul was right, Jiyong only looked at her as his little sister. Nothing more than that.
"Sooji-ya," Jiyong shook her shoulder. Arched his eyebrows, seeing how empty her stares were.
Two years ago, Sooji kept silent about her feelings. What her heart yearned for years, doesn't matter. It is her problem. But it kept aching when seeing Jiyong and Kiko get stronger every year.
She always heard what happened to their relationship. Jiyong, being clueless, thought Sooji was a great listener. He didn't have any idea, how hurt she was every time Jiyong told her how his relationship was.
Sooji knows Jiyong and Kiko weren't on good terms. And here he is like any cycle went. Jiyong must be here to say to Sooji, that his relationship is okay, he made up with her. bla bla bla.
Any other time, Sooji would listen to him. But not tonight. She has a monthly evaluation tomorrow. Crying herself to sleep was the last thing she wanted. Crying means wasting another hour that she could use to practice.
She wants to be selfish, for the first time.
"Oppa," she called him.
"Hmm, do you need anything?" Jiyong asked. He went back to his seat, "Are you okay?"
"I like you," there was a pregnant pause between them. Sooji's eyes have never been more serious than today. Her empty eyes were changed to pointing to his own.
Jiyong remained speechless, he never thought he would hear this. He knows for sure that Cho Sooji wasn't the type to make jokes about feelings.
"I like you. I don't know when this happened. But I just realized when you called me after the earthquake happened. How were you making sure that I was okay? People might say, it was a bare minimum for you to check up on me. But I had no idea, why between everyone, my heart fell for you."
"The day I came to your concert, I was ready to tell you how I felt. After months of making sure that is it true, you're the one I fall for. The flowers, I should have given to you, but I was too shy to tell the others about it, so I said it was for Bigbang. I had prepared myself for the worst, your rejection. I'm fine with that, even though the night before was the worst in my life. Making sure my decision to confess to you."
"But that day, I never had my heart broken into pieces. It wasn't your fault, of course, you had no idea about the feeling I had. Neither do I. I don't know why I'm telling you this, I'm deeply sorry for making you confused. I know very well that you have a girlfriend and you're very happy. I don't mean to ruin your happiness through this confession. I hope, whatever I said before, you could forget about this, Oppa."
"I know the consequences of this confession. I don't mind if you become distant. I'm taking all the risks. And I'm sorry if I'm too egoistic. For the first time, I did put myself first. I'm risking our friendship over my ego. You could hate me for this."
She stood up, while Jiyong remained silent in his seat, "I know why you're here, Oppa. Either you're telling me how you make up with your girlfriend, or just visiting my practice for fun"
"Congratulations on your tour, Oppa. Goodbye, Jiyong Oppa," then she walked away, leaving Jiyong watching her back starts leaving his sight.
