us - nick goode

chapter 10

I wake up and nothing makes sense. I'm in the infirmary and there are 6 eyes on me and it's freaking me out. Then it comes to me, last thing i remember is feeling funny. I must have passed out from stress probably, or that's at least what im telling myself. "um why are you all starring at me??" i say. Nobody moves for another solid 6 seconds. Am i dead or something??? Can they not see or hear me? As if nick heard my thoughts he said "you passed out while we were walking. you have only been out for like 5 minutes". I really hope he doesn't blow this out of proportion. The last thing i need to worry about is another reason he is up my ass. "Is there any reason you would have passed out?" nurse lane says like she's nervous. God i hope people aren't worrying or taking about it. I hate being babied. "not that i can think of? you don't need to worry i'm fine really it was just an off one" i say as i stand up swinging my feet to get up. As soon as i get up i almost have to sit back down from getting to dizzy. After getting steady for a moment i say thank you to nurse lane and walk out.

I need it to look like i'm ok. I need to pretend like everything is ok. Nothing is ok in reality but i need to keep it to myself and i cant let other people see my weaknesses. I feel like i'm starting to spiral nothing is working out how i need it to. I need everything to go the way i need it to. If it doesn't everything will fall apart. I know if let other people see me fall apart then they won't look at me the same. They will treat me different. Like i will break. I need to stay in control of my situation and i don't know how long i can hold this up. I soon feel tears threatening to run down my cheeks. I try my best to run back to my cabin and as soon as i do i lock the door and just cry. I cry about everything. I don't know how long i can do this to myself until i break and can't myself back together. I have put myself back together so many times but it's different now. I try to calm myself down but i cant. I try to think of good things and take deep breaths. I know I have to go back out there so i wipe my tears, put some more mascara on, brush my hair, and act like nothing happened. If anyone asked where i went i say i had to clean up my cabin. I walk out the door and head to the mess hall to see where i am supposed to be. On my way there i see ziggy in the art cabin. I head over and talk to her. "Hey zig" "hey why did you leave like that." "sorry it's just you know how i am with doctors" "Yea i guess but do you want to grab a snack?" god no. i don't want to grab a snack. that's the last thing i want. But part of me is thinking about it because i'm so very hungry. So hungry. "no thanks i think fainting made my stomach hurt". She looked at me for a minute. "Also i think i passed out from dehydration because when i thought of it i had not had any water like the whole day and that isn't like me". She stares at me again. After a couple seconds she just nods. "Oh and del nick was looking for you and he said if i see you to tell you he is on lake duty." Great. I say my goodbyes to ziggy and head to the lake.

Thank you guys for being so patient!! I have really bad writers block and i was on a euro vacation. I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter!! And hopefully more to come!!

698 words