You're his girl

She's Done

TW: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND SELF HARM AND ABUSE

Hours passed as the group went home from the party and Y/N was sober again. "God that was probably the second scariest thing that's ever happened to me" I said as they walked through the front door and into Bills house "oh yeah? Whats the first?" Georg said curiously, I froze before walking away silently, leaving the rest if the group dumbfounded and confused.

I walked into the bathroom and locked the door as memories came flooding back to me.

~flash back~
"I ALREADY FUCKING TOLD YOU Y/N I HATE WHEN YOU ACT LIKE A BITCH!" A man screamed "I'm sorry!" Y/n said weakly before screaming out in pain as the man stabbed her in the side being sure not to kill her as he did "Maybe that'll make you behave. Don't embarrass me like that again." The man said furiously as Y/n was gasping for air, holding onto the wound on her side.
~end of flashback~

I began to sob as I rummaged through the cabinet searching for my blade I had hidden, I paused for a moment before cutting my wrist causing it to bleed violently. "Y/N OPEN THE DOOR" I heard someone yelling, it was Bill, his voice was filled with concern as he spoke again "Y/N!" I began to walk toward the door before crashing to the ground causing a loud thud and the blood covered blade slipping under the door and before I knew it everything was black.

I woke up with my eyes fluttering trying to stay open, Bill was sleeping next to me his face stained with tears. I got up trying to remember what happened before i blacked out only flashes of it coming back to me; the blade, the tears, the cuts and blood. "FUCK!" I yelled out as i hit my hand against the wall, waking up Bill "What! Whats wrong?!" He said his voice full of worry as he saw me crying "Hey..hey its okay.." he said hugging me tightly "I was doing so well i- i was finally clean" I said choking on tears "Its okay..these things happen.." he said as he kissed my forehead softly "i'm sorry..i'm so sorry i-" Bill cut me off with a hug "Entschuldige dich nicht, Schatz, es ist alles in Ordnung, das verspreche ich" (Dont apologise honey, it's okay, i promise) he said softly "Es tut mir Leid.." (i'm sorry..) i said back to him, my words becoming clearer as i hugged him tightly "Don't worry Schatz i still love you the same, if not more than before this happened.." he paused for a moment "..Do you mind me asking what cause d it though?" He said, trying not to force an answer out of me "I don't think im ready to talk about it yet..i'm sorry" i said, god i need to stop apologising I thought to myself "thats alright, you can tell me when you're ready i wont force you to talk if you aren't comfortable" he said as he kissed the top of my head gently "thank you.." i responded, now calmer than before "of course leibe" he smiled.

~later that night (2:47am)~

I woke up feeling like absolute shit, i carefully got out of bed being sure not to wake Bill and i went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror "god you're a fucking mess." I say looking absolutely disgusted with myself before i brushed my hair and teeth and picked out an outfit "if im gonna due im gonna die pretty" i said before sneaking out of the house.

The outfit and hair:

(Change it if you want)

After about 30 minutes of driving i made it to the top of a 7 story car park and i sat in my car before beginning to sob. I went through my bag making sure my note and my diary were in there, which they were. I stood on the edge of the building thinking about wether or not i should do this before hearing a car come speeding to the top and the door slamming shut behind whoever was in it. "Y/N GET DOWN" i turned to see who it was but my tears were making it harder to see "Y/n please..." then it hit me. I recognised the voice. It was Bill "how the fuck did you know i was here and what i was doing?" I asked him choking back tears of anger and sadness "I- i woke up when you went to the bathroom and i heard you getting ready and talking to yourself...the last thing you said before you left the house made me worry so i- i got up and came to find you and i saw your car and followed it here.." he said as his voice cracked whilst he held back his tears "Bill... meine leibe..." i said before jumping down and running to hug him as we both cried, he had a firm grip as he hugged me for what felt like the first time in forever even though we were hugging a couple hours ago. "I love you so much y/n please dont ever leave me.." he pleaded "i wont..im sorry i didnt say anything sooner.." i said feeling guilty for not telling Bill about..him sooner "it's okay schatz it's okay" he comforted me as he kissed me softly "Bill.." i said hesitantly "i think i'm ready to talk."