"Liv, are we going home? Let's go home."
I told Liv when I entered the kitchen at nadatnan siya doon na nakaharap sa laptop niya habang nakaupo sa countertop. Kumuha ako ng ice cream mango flavor and a spoon while waiting for Liv to answer.
Tulog na si Avy at ako naman ay hindi makatulog kaya ito.
"Isn't this your home, Ely?" He suddenly asked that made me stop on my track.
This... is my home. No. He is my home. That house where we're living together is my home. Right. Ako lang pala ang nag consider sa bahay na iyon na 'home'. This place, this mansion is not my home. This is just a house. A lonely house but not a home. And his home, is Avy.
"Y-yeah, right." I stuttered at parang nawalan ako ng gana kumain ng ice cream kaya binalik ko nalang ito sa ref.
I've noticed something from him today. Since he came here, he became cold towards me. Hindi naman sa cold talaga siya sa'kin na hindi niya ako pinapansin, he's just... different.
"Everly." His baritone voice sent shivers in my spine that made my hair in my nape arose.
"Hmm?" I looked behind me only to find him already looking at me. He's serious.
Taimtim niya akong tinitigan na parang tatagos sa kaluluwa ko ang pagkakatitig niya, and I'm scared. It's the first time he looked at me like that. Para bang may napakalaking kasakanan ako sa kanya. I felt suffocated.
He sighed then turned around to look back on his work. "Nothing."
"Okay." Then I turned around to leave. Hindi ko kinaya ang atmosphere sa kusina.
There's something wrong. I can feel it.
But anyway, For the past weeks, hindi ko na nararamdaman ang pananakit ng ulo ko at kung sasakit man, ay mild lang. When I consulted Doc Rivero, he said that there was nothing wrong, I mean, wala namang naiba sa sakit ko.
Hm. Maybe I'm getting better? It's impossible though.
After that night, I decided to go back to our house because of my class. Parang napapabayaan ko na ang pag-aaral ko eh. But it's fine, hindi naman na ako aabot sa graduation eh.
But Liv went home with me. Well, may class rin kasi siya. But just when we came back home, his phone rang and when he answered it, nanlaki ang mga mata niya at dali-daling sumakay sa kotse.
"Liv, wait up!" Gladly, he waited for me para makasakay.
Bumalik kami sa mansyon at sabay kami na bumaba. Eksaktong pagbukas ng gate ay nadatnan namin si manong driver na karga si Avy na walang malay and the most unexpected thing happened.
Liv pushed me para makadaan siya just so he'd be the one to carry Avy papuntang hospital. I stumbled on my feet and fell on the cement floor. I immediately got up para hindi ako mapahiya but I wanted to cry out loud and shout at Liv.
He's willing to push and hurt me so he can carry and save Avy.
Bakit? Bakit kailangan na si Avy? Alam naman namin na walang gusto si Avy kay Liv eh but why?! Ako naman lagi ang nandyan para sa kanya but why is it really hard for him to notice me?! Ginawa ko na ang lahat! I managed to be engaged with him and live with him in one roof pero wala parin!
He's so heartless! Oo! Si Avy ang nauna na nakakilala kay Liv but why can't he see my efforts? Eh wala naman si Avy nung birthday niya na sinapak siya ng daddy niya, sinong nandon, ako! Nandon ako sa mga times na down na down siya.
Kahit masakit makitang umiiyak si Liv ay nagstay ako sa gilid niya to lend my shoulders for him to cry on! Kahit ang sakit marinig na pangalan ni Avy lagi ang binibigkas niya.
Maybe I should just tell him the truth?
I followed them and entered the car para pumunta sa hospital.
"She has a heart disease." After hearing that, Liv's world seems to collapse and it hurts me. "She cannot go home until there will be a heart donor. She might experience the symptoms so it's critical to send her home."
After that, the doctor went out and left us. Liv and I.
I looked at Liv and it seems like he can't process what the doctor had said. But a few minutes later, he finally spoke.
"Can we talk?" Liv asked that made my heart thump.
We're in a private room so close at hindi gaanong maririnig ang mga boses namin sa labas but this room is not totally soundproof.
Tumango lang ako sa kanya at tumungo sa sofa para malayo ng kaunti kay Avy na mahimbing ang tulog. Tahimik lang kami at naghihintay na magsalita ang isa sa'min.
"Liv, I-I... I-"
"I know everything, Ely. Alam ko na lahat." He said with a greeted teeth.
That made me scared. Hindi ko pa nakitang galit si Liv. This is the first time, at sa'kin pa. I looked at my clasped hands that trembled because of fear and guilt. I'm scared.
"Why the fuck are you pushing yourself to me, Ely kung alam mo naman pala na may gusto ako kay Avy! Anong klaseng kaibigan ka?!" Medyo tumaas ang boses ni Liv pero pinipigilan niya.
Pansin ko na tumulo ang isang butil ng luhako sa kamay ko hanggang sa nagsunod-sunod na ang pagtulo ng luha ko.
Because of guilt, hate and fear. Guilt dahil sa ano nga ba akong klaseng kaibigan na nagawa ko kay Liv to? Hate because he's treating me like a trash while I was pulling him to the top and fear. Dahil ayokong masira ang engagement namin ni Liv at ang pagkakaibigan namin.
"Alam kong may gusto ka sa'kin pero hindi mo man lang ba ako inisip-"
"Hindi inisip...?" Hindi ko na napigilan ang pagsagot.
Dahan-dahan akong napabuntong-hininga dahil sa sinabi niya. Nakatingin lang ako sa ibaba at dahan-dahang umangat ang tingin sa kanya.
Hinilamos niya ang mukha niya at saka nakapamewang na tumayo para tumalikod sa'kin.
"Mag-usap tayo sa labas." The last thing he said before leaving the room.
