I lay here, every day, and look at what I have left of you. Some fucking trinkets that are supposed to sum up who you were to me.
I picked up a bloody fucking rock because it was the last thing you touched while still alive.
While you were still alive.
I just want you back.
I want you back so much my heart breaks every time I hear your name. Even if they aren't talking about you.
Jacob.
I miss my big brother.
And no one knows how I can't stop crying when I'm alone.
With the lump in my throat.
I'm really good at crying silently. Cause how can you make a sound, when everything in you is so fractured and in so many jumbles?
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss my brother.
My brother who was supposed to be there with me.
Here. With me.
And you're not.
And I'm so angry.
I'm drowning in everything.
I miss you so much.
