A Walk in the Rain

Chapter 1

I thought my life would have been like fairy tales by now at the age of 32 with a perfect marriage and many children. I never dreamed that things would turn out the way they have with my feelings causing me to run away and move back into my parents' home after all these years. I needed a change away from Tennessee.

I'm on my way with Jameson to start life back in my hometown in the small town of Cherryville, NC. As I drive my beat-up, Blue 2006 Honda Civic, I look at my sweet, brown-haired, brown-eyed son in the rearview mirror. "James, what do you think would be a good idea for dinner." He replied, "Mama, I want McDonald's". A typical response from my five-year-old son. "McDonald's it is, then."

Sitting in the Kings Mountain McDonalds parking lot, finishing our shared nuggets and fries, I turn around, "James, we are almost at your Nana's and Papaw's house." "Yay, I can't wait to see Nana and Papaw." He excitedly yelled.

Twenty minutes later, we pulled into the pink cherry blossom-lined driveway of my parents' home. The single-story, red brick home with cream shutters sits on fifteen acres of an old soybean field with a small fishing pond in the backyard. Before I could turn my car's engine off, saying a little prayer that it would start again, my mom, Celia Jones, came flying out of the house. "My sweet grandbaby. Let me hug my sweet grandbaby."

Mom has always been the hugger type, which has always been a comfort to me in my younger years. "Hey, Mom, we've missed you. Where's Dad at?" My dad, Charlie, as the townsfolk liked to call him, is the small town's Sheriff. He had cut back his hours at the station a few years ago because of his health and the fact that outside of a few speeding tickets on occasion, there wasn't much trouble that happened in Cherryville. "Honey, your father is down at the station doing who-knows-what," she replied with her arms up in question. "He should be home before dinner. Why don't you and Jameson head into the house to unpack and freshen up? I'll help Jameson with his luggage."

The house smells of citrus and sour apples. I make my way through the living room into one of the guest bedrooms beside my son's room when he visits.

I laid my suitcases on the red and white quilted queen bed on a cast iron bed frame. This room has a warm country theme with an antique oak dresser and bedside table with a small antique gold lamp. The first thing I unpack is my journal, where I spend most of my time before bed sharing my day's events and feelings. That journal has become one of my greatest confidants. I set the journal on the bedside table with my favorite black fountain pen.

I had finished unpacking the rest of my suitcase when I heard James running down the hall yelling, "Mommy, Mommy, Papaw is here." I walk out of the bedroom into the hallway and see my dad open the door. I wait and see if he is in one of his cranky moods before I approach him. "Hey, April, how was the trip from Tennessee? I hope it was a pleasant drive." Okay, so my dad is in a good mood. My heart settles down, and I take a deep breath inward. "It was great, Dad. I am glad to see you." Charlie isn't like my mom; he is not a physical touch person, so I could tell he wasn't comfortable with the awkward side hug I gave him. "The trip was nice, Dad. We hit some bad storms, but the two-day trip was mostly easygoing. How is the station?" He replied, "Oh, you know, Sam Becker keeps getting himself into trouble over at Georgie's, and I had to put him in the drunk tank." Georgie's is the local bar and grill owned by Georgie Messer, the hard-talking but will-give-you-the-shirt-off-her-back type of person. Sam is the local town drunk. Since his wife left him in the 1990s, he has slip-ups every few weeks and starts stirring up the locals with his nasty, drunken attitude.

Making my way into the kitchen, I can smell Mom's freshly baked bread coming out of the oven. Mom's kitchen has been the heart of the home. It is where I have spent great memories playing board games and getting into little disputes over Monopoly. "Mom, let me help you with dinner. I learned to make a few things while on my own in Tennessee." "No, dear, you are our guest tonight. Let me prepare it, but you can sit by the island and keep me company. Have you spoken to Trevor since you decided to move back home?" "No, I told him the day we were leaving. He didn't seem to care. After we split, he seemed to have buried himself deeper into his work than before. He kept making up work excuses about why he couldn't see James. When I told him about leaving, he seemed almost relieved." I can start to feel the anger reaching my face. Trevor has always made his job a number-one priority, which is why I decided to break up with him. Trevor would work excessively, take on new responsibilities without discussing them with me, and be gone all day and night. I would call his friend and coworker Hector to check on him when Trevor wouldn't answer. Trevor is a Finance Director at Maxwell Bank Co., where he has worked for six years.

"Honey, I am so sorry that Trevor wasn't the man we had all hoped he would be. You and James deserve so much better than being treated as you have. You don't think he will eventually come around to putting James as a priority, do you?" "Mom, can we please not talk about Trevor anymore? I am so tired from dealing with him and trying to move on. We've been separated for over a year now." In my heart, we've been apart for a lot longer than that. "I understand. How did you handle leaving your job? I know you enjoyed working at Barnes & Nobles. I can talk to Patricia, who owns her Coffee Shop and Bookstore now. I can see if we can get you a job after you have had time to settle in." "I certainly miss my old job working there. It gave me something to do to help pass the time while James was in Preschool and Trevor was busy working constantly. I will need a new job soon to get my car fixed."

"Well, get freshened up; dinner should be ready in a few minutes."

In the guest bathroom, I splash my face with ice-cold water to help relieve some of my stress from the conversation with my mom. I then remove my paddle hairbrush from the drawer and brush my tangled brown hair. After I get my hair to lay straight chest length, I put on a little face powder and ChapStick.

I go to the dining room with the mahogany dining table and sit beside James. "James, did you have fun playing outside with Papaw?" "Yeah, Mommy, pawpaw threw a football with me; then he took me to the pond to see if we can find any frogs." I asked, "Did you find any frogs?" "Only two," he exclaimed. "Papaw said he would take me to the park tomorrow." "That sounds like so much fun, James."

Charlie sits across from James as Mom walks in with the rest of the food. I can smell the salmon patties and greens cooked in bacon served with fresh bread. My mouth begins to water. As we start eating, it is awkwardly quiet outside of James complaining about eating the collard greens. I broke the quiet by telling Mom, "I decided I may go in town tomorrow and visit the library and run to the grocery store to get a few items I need." "That's wonderful, April. Say hey to Lilly for me." Lilly is the town's librarian. "April, while you are out, can you stop by the bait and tackle shop and pick me up some worms? I plan on taking James fishing by the pond in a couple of days," Dad spoke. "Yeah, Dad, I don't mind."

We finished dinner; by now, it was almost 8:00 p.m. I get Jameson ready for bed and tuck him in. Then, I went to grab my journal, sat on the bed, and began writing a few thoughts.

When I arrived back at my old home, I didn't think I would have been welcomed like I was. I expected to feel guilt and shame, but my mom greeted me with open arms. She still wants to see me back with Trevor, which I can understand why. Trevor, ah Trevor, with his grey steel eyes and dirty blond short hair, always looked the part. On paper, of course, any girl would be really into him, especially in his suit and tie. If only he were emotionally supportive and made an effort to be around instead of putting his job before our son, I would still be with him. We went on a few dates together after the breakup, but business calls interrupted the dates. He would refuse to turn his phone off.

Dad was unusually friendly. Well, he's as warm as he can be. I wish my dad would have also been more involved in my childhood. I can only count on two hands how many times he has hugged me. I understand that physical touch may not be his love language, but it would have helped our relationship.

I plan on going to town again. I hope it all goes smoothly. I feel nervous, considering I haven't been here for five years after moving in with Trevor. Things may be better this way.

I close my book and take some deep breaths. I try to relax before my depression takes over again. I need to get my life back together and make this all work out, if not for me, then for James. He is my whole world and needs me now more than ever. This is a massive change for both of us. My eyes start to feel heavy as I keep focusing on my breathing. Things always work out in the end. Right? Even so, I will give our new life everything I have. I finally drifted off to sleep.