Effeminate: Being Cared For

Loved, hoped

She felt as though she had overcome everything to a certain level or degree—that not everything was half as bad as she had thought and that it wouldn’t exactly affect her as much.

She wrong and she sort of felt foolish when she broke down in the middle of a one to one session with Avra. She had tried her best to hold back her tears but it just seemed it was all too much, her words jumbled up—her throat became unbearably tight, her words barely audible—bits of incoherent sentences barely making sense.

She gripped the cloth covering her knees for dear life. Slowly that familiar burning sensation in her eyes slipped in, she had tried pushing them back by continuously batting her eyelashes but it didn’t help—it didn’t settle the suffocating feeling her heart felt and no later the tears started rolling down her cheeks.

With the back of her palm she furiously wiped them off, a forced smile at Avra she tried to continue talking—but that was really hopeless.

Words failed her and her silent cry slowly became enormous pouring of emotions, the sobs grew louder—she just let herself cry—It had all been bottled up for so long the bottle broke.

She would have normally gotten up and run out the door far away from Avra but her feet didn’t let her, she felt so weak and little—everything was eating her up.

But she felt the soft fabric of Avra’s long sleeve shirt brush against her skin then her scent filled her nostrils—finding herself embraced in a hug she let herself hug her back—arms around her waist she continued to cry.

Rubbing her hand up and down her back Avra continued to comfort Sheen.

She had not seen Sheen cry before in the middle of a session—most times she would noticed her clenching onto the hem of either her shirt or dress, as tightly as possible to prevent herself from crying—or a push to go on.

Today’s topic took a troll on her drastically than all those other days—she watched her fight back the tears, trying to control her nerves and stabilise her voice but she failed.

The moment the gleam in her eyes turned to tears rolling down cheeks Avra had already rushed to her aid. She didn’t know what to do for second—she didn’t want to invade her space or offend her and she definitely didn’t know if Sheen would let her.

All those thoughts faded away in an instance as she held Sheen in her arms—she wanted to assure her she was around anytime she needed and Sheen let her.

She was relieved—both of them honestly.

A couple more minutes later Sheen had quiet down, she could no longer hear her sobs but she didn’t let her go, so neither did she—simply Avra continued to rub her back.

Sheen liked how gentle Avra held her—the way she lowly hummed as she rubbed her back, her perfume—she couldn’t pinpoint what exactly it was but it smelt like bloomed flowers in spring—a fresh breeze.

The room was quite enough for Sheen to hear Avra’s heartbeat—it was weak and faint but nonetheless she could hear it. Her eyes closed she continued to listen—just a bit longer she wasn’t ready to let go just yet—she loved just being held in the silence.

Avra fought her hardest to not pull Sheen back and kiss her—it was a bit more challenging when Sheen kept burying her face in her neck, the tip of her nose brushing against her skin—her breath, it sent tingles through her body.

At the end of it all, she couldn’t hold herself back as a light kiss was placed on Sheen’s forehead.

Sheen liked Avra’s forehead kisses a lot—to be exact she was deep red in blush and her only shield of protection was Avra’s neck.

It would be alright in a matter of minutes—and it was.

“I’m sorry.” she apologized pulling herself from Avra’s arms—no matter how much she still wanted to be held by her, they couldn’t do it all day—those she wished they did.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” taking her hand in hers she lightly squeezed it, forcing Sheen to look her in the eyes. “Are you alright?”

Was she alright? A one hundred percent alright—no, not really but did she feel a lot better than before, that was a certain yes—a million times yes.

Smiling she stared into her brown eyes. “A bit better.”

“Good enough for ice cream?” Avra asked wiggling her eyebrows with a wide smile on her face.

Who wasn’t ever alright for ice cream—free ice cream. With a big smile she nodded, ice was the best way to get her to feel better—alot more better.