The best fucking story ever told

Parent teacher conference

It starts when he’s five. Neither Katsuki nor Izuku are expecting to get a call from their kindergartner’s teacher so early into the school year asking them to sit down for a parent teacher conference. 

“Fuuuuuck, Pup what did you do?” Katsuki groans into the open air of their bedroom as he falls back onto their soft mattress, mind going wild with scenarios of what their sweet pup could’ve done that would warrant his teacher to schedule a parent teacher conference with Japan’s top two heroes. On their off day no less! It was mind boggling! Especially considering Shinji took after Deku and was the sweetest thing since milk bread! Something didn’t add up…Katsuki just couldn’t put his damn finger on it.

“Don’t jump to conclusions yet, Kacchan,” Deku advises, a stern, no-nonsense look in those emerald green eyes that means Katsuki’s omega would leave no room for negotiation, what he says goes . “Maybe there was a misunderstanding!”

As always, Izuku remained the optimist in their relationship. Katsuki obviously would love to join him in his fantasy land of their pup can do no wrong, but once again, the school year had damn near just begun, there was simply no way Shinji hadn’t messed up badly. And sure, it was probably Katsuki’s fault, considering his ahem, temperament issues, but fuck! Shinji took after Deku, didn’t he?!

Katsuki sighs. There wasn’t much he could do but wait for the ever impending doom of his very first parent teacher conference. 

*

“Hello, Deku and Dynamight  Please take a seat,” greets the antithesis of what Katsuki had thought a kindergarten teacher would look like. This did not look like a woman who dealt with five year olds all day, this woman looked stern and angry, damn near her breaking point, and jesus had this woman been losing sleep? She had deep, deep purple bags under her eyes as if she hadn’t slept in weeks . And her hair! It looked like a goddamned bird’s nest and oh god, what is that smell?

Katsuki is dumbfounded as he stares into the soulless, lifeless eyes of Shinji’s kindergarten teacher.

What the hell had their pup put this woman through?

“You can call me Izuku, Misato-san,” Deku says with a swift elbow to Katsuki’s ribs, obviously wanting for him to assure the teacher lady she could call him Katsuki. God his omega was such a fucking brute sometimes.

Katsuki rolls his eyes, red eyes shifting from the mess of a woman over to his mate and back again.

“Tch, you can call me Lord Explosion Mur-- shiiiiieeesh ,” Katsuki curses as Deku elbows him harder in the same exact spot -- and Katsuki sees the faint green surrounding his arm, ok? There is no fucking reason for Deku to use One For All like this! And in all honesty, that little flash of One for All is the only thing that is restraining Katsuki enough to resist cursing up a storm like he so, so, so, so wants to, just to see how far he can push this woman who already seems to be pushed to the very brink, but he knows deep down if he did, his little spitfire of an omega would no doubt do something crazy like elbow him again but with one hundred percent this time, probably sending him through the side of the building and causing a huge stink that would somehow reflect badly on KATSUKI’S rating’s – because Deku is Japan’s Sweetheart, ok?! – and then! As if that weren’t enough, he’d probably withhold sex for a whole month or something crazy! Maybe declare he’d never bear Katsuki’s pup again or some shit. Katsuki shudders at the thought.

He clears his throat, red eyes glaring down at Izuku’s nice, round deceivingly innocent green ones and says, “You can um, call me Katsuki. Misato-san.” 

“Whatever,” the teacher clips, unimpressed. Which like, ok, Katsuki totally understands the weariness, this woman looks like she’s gone to hell and back, but still! She was staring down Japan’s top two Pro Heroes, Dynamite and Deku, and yet she still has the gall to speak to them like this?

Shiiiit, maybe Katsuki’s starting to like this crazy woman after all. Though it still didn’t explain the amount of vitriol she seemed to have for their pup! How could their single, cute, adorable, gift to the world offspring cause this woman to look like that ?!

 
When the two had asked him about his time at school to gauge how worried they should be without alerting their pup that anything was wrong because Shinji’s a worrier like his mother, Shinji had only had great wonderful things to say about his class and his teacher, Misato-sensei. The conversation had been simple, no red flags mentioned whatsoever...
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Word count: 799