“Please, take a seat,” Misato-san repeats, tone hard and rigid like Kirishima’s damn quirk. Fuck, what had Shinji gotten his parents into?
Izuku practically throws himself into his seat to comply. Katsuki sighs, his mate really is such a people pleaser. He rolls his eyes and takes his damn time sinking into his seat, arms crossed against his chest and lips turned down in a permanent scowl.
“So what’s -- um, what I mean is – what seems to be the problem, Misato-san?” Deku asks eagerly, leaning on the desk in front of him, eagerly awaiting the answers this sad, sad woman had to give.
“Well, I’ll put it bluntly for you heroes,” the haggard teacher sneers. “Your pup,” she spits the word “pup” as if it personally offends her and Katsuki is slowly giving himself little crescent mooned scars on his arms as he tries his goddamn best not to go ballistic on this lady, “seems to be obsessed with telling the kids and I how he was conceived.”
“Wait. What?” Katsuki grunts because out of all of the scenarios he had imagined before this meeting, this was not what he was expecting.
“That’s right. And once I knew what was happening, I tried to stop him, but it was already too late. I had about fifteen five year-olds asking me about how babies were made and if that’s what their parents did and I had to shut the conversation down somehow and I think I might’ve traumatized my classroom just a little bit and I had to ban all questions from my students for the rest of the month and I just know none of these kids will be equipped to move onto the first grade because how can I teach them anything if they can’t ask QUESTIONS?!” Misato-san screams, before taking a deep, supposedly alming breath but she still looks fucking crazy so it must not’ve worked that well. “I’m losing my MIND.They don’t pay me to teach the birds and the bees, they pay me to teach letters, numbers, how to color in the lines, and maybe some basic words like cow and bicycle but I draw the line at explaining sex ,” she hissesthe word through gritted teeth, spit and saliva flying uncaringly out of her mouth as she continues on her trade, “to five year-olds. My class is sex negative, y’hear?! Sex. Negative! I don’t care what you progressive heroes think you’re doing with your pup, but I refuse to be the one to pick up the pieces of these other pups ok?!” She yells out.
Katsuki and Izuku sit stunned for a few moments, eyes bugging out at the display before them. Misato-sensei sits panting, eyes crazy as they dart between the two heroes expecting some kind of response, and if that vein in the back of her neck that kept pulsing was anything to go by, it seemed she wanted an answer or some kind of indication that they’d heard her and she wanted that shit now .
Katsuki and Izuku nod enthusiastically and she deflates into her seat, fixing her blazer, and picking a paper airplane out of her hair that Katsuki is flabbergasted by cause how had he not noticed that till now?
Misato-sensei sighs, “Anyway, I need your kid to stop . Stop bringing it up! It’s uncouth when they’re this young! Tell him to try again in junior high or something I don’t care! Just stop him! Now both of you get out! Just looking at you makes me SICK!”
The two flee the classroom as if their hero pagers had just gone off, as if they’d heard about some big bad villain causing a ruckus around town, shit, they probably moved quicker there in that moment than they had back when Izuku was pregnant with Shinji and his damn water broke.
Once they break through the school doors, they come to a halt, both panting and they lock eyes for a moment before they break into a boisterous laughter, tears goddamn falling from their eyes, the only fucking reaction they could have after this shit show of a night.
They’d’ve probably stayed their laughing for awhile had the loud, clanging sound of the schoolyard doors being forced in opposite directions and into the walls behind them not interrupted them.
Misato-sensei stands there in front of them, murder gleaming in her brown eyes, “Get. OUT!” She fumes.
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Word count: 746
YOU ARE READING
The best fucking story ever told
FanfictionThis is bakudeku obviously. This book was originally a one shot but I made it into 15 parts because it was was to long to put into my one shot book. ●I don't own this book or story. It belongs to elisosly on Ao3.●
