The best fucking story ever told

Dont ask

Finally, Deku turns around to address Katsuki with a questioning look, and Katsuki shrugs, not having the words to articulate that he was surprised that his pup was worried as if his parents weren't literal household names. If anything, Misato-sensei should've been the one worried about making a good impression on them ! Obviously she hadn't been but that's because she is a bitter fucking woman who --

"And so we came out here just to watch some TV and then the plan was to take Shinji back to bed when he was distracted enough but then he fell asleep on the couch and he used my arm as a pillow and I didn't want to move him and --"

Deku sighs, shaking his head at Katsuki for distracting him long enough to let Kirishima keep talking, and then he turns back to lock eyes with Kirishima, green eyes fierce like only a mother's could be.

"You're gonna have to learn to say no to the pup, Eijiriou," Deku says sternly. "What're you gonna do when you get a pup of your own, huh Eijirou? You're going to drive Mina crazy if you don't grow a backbone and grow one soon!"

"What do I have to do that for Mido-bro? That's what Mina's for," Kirishimia laughs as he slowly extracts Shinji from his side and rises from the couch. He carefully scoops their dead to the world pup into his big hairy arms and silently whisks him to his bedroom where he deposits him. It's only a moment or two before he's back in the living room, eyes bouncing between Katsuki and Deku curiously.

"So how'd it --"

"I don't want to talk about it," Katsuki and Deku say at the same time.

Deku glares over at Katsuki as if he fucking knew that Deku was about to say the same goddamn thing, obviously if he had he would've kept his fucking mouth shut and now Kirishima is busting a gut like they'd just told him the funniest fucking thing he's heard all fucking year.

"I swear to god if you wake my pup, Shitty Hair," Katsuki growls under his breath.

Kirishima waves him off, voice quieting as he shakes with silent laughter. "It must've gone so bad huh, bro?"

"Get the fuck out of my house," Katsuki says, crossing his arms annoyedly over his chest. Stupid Shitty Hair laughing at them for the complete disaster that was their fucking parent teacher conference. Didn't this motherfucker have anything better to do? He's the number four hero for Christ's sake.

"I'm going, I'm going," Kirishima assures. "Seriously though, please don't take babysitting privileges away from me, Mido-bro, I promise I won't fuck this up again! I need the practice for one day when Mina blesses me with the opportunity to become the manliest Alpha there is!"

"It's fine, Eijirou, just please do better next time, ok?" Deku says softly, all his omegan fierceness forgotten now that Shinji was tucked away in his bed and not on the couch with Uncle Kiri.

"I promise I will! You can count on me!" Kirishima declares with a toothy grin before disappearing from their home, closing the door behind him.

Thank god.
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