Evil Is Pink (bxb)

Chapter 9

Tendril was by himself, sitting outside on a wooden bench in one of the many prison courtyards. A few weeks had passed since Pimickie's surprise visit to their cell. Tendril disliked visitors, but he especially disliked smelly visitors. He could still smell her armpits after she left – it clung to his bookshelf and refused to let go until the day reset itself.

He was facing a basketball court, watching as the other prisoners waged war with each other. Sooner or later a fight would probably break out, which meant that Tendril would have to find another place to sit and wait. Pity. In this particular courtyard, this bench was the only one with shade.

"Hayyyy!!"

Tendril turned his head slowly to his one and only friend. "You're late."

Ballsy made a loud sound that was in between a laugh, a hiccup, and a hacked cough. Then she giggled wildly, "Sorry—I got my M&M's mixed up real funny good-like, HAHAHA!"

Tendril blinked. He took a second to let his brain translate, and then understood that Ballsy was talking about a.m and p.m and not the archaic chocolate brand. Tendril vaguely remembered seeing the branded plastic wrapper containing real chocolate on display at one of Atlaticana's museums. Apparently, it was excavated near Seaweed City and the guy who found it managed to sell it for millions. Lucky bastard. But...of course, Ballsy was not talking about chocolate M&Ms. And in true crazy Ballsy fashion, even if she got a.m and p.m mixed up, that still didn't make any sense. She was only thirty minutes late, not twelve hours late.

Tendril decided not to dwell on it as Ballsy slapped herself onto the bench. It was time for business.

"I'm almost done." Tendril looked ahead, watching the basketball game as he spoke. "You?"

"I'm fine thank you!!"

"..."

"Geez, lighten up will ya?" She snickered. "My part's covered. C'mon, when have I ever failed ya?"

"You were thirty minutes late."

"Pfft, I'm talking about the stuff that matters." Ballsy waved her hand in dismissal and slouched on the bench. She slouched so far down that she was practically lying on her back. "I'm bored, are we done now?"

"You just got here."

"Well, you're boring!"

"And you think you're more interesting than you actually are—"

"At least I'm drop dead GORGEOUS!"

"You look like a zit on a dog's butt."

"And you're the t-TURD on that dog's butt—" Ballsy could hardly finish her comeback, for she was laughing up a storm already. She was the easiest person to amuse, though Tendril never understood half the things she found so hilarious. She was like a walking sitcom backtrack. She could laugh at a dictionary on the floor. Sometimes it was grating, but he liked that about her. She was the only person in the world that he could make laugh. More importantly though, despite her looks and attitude, she was reliable. You'd never guess it, but in a pinch, she was always there, ready to fight and support him to the ends of the earth. A ride or die kinda gal. Which was why Tendril tolerated her lazy, wild, crazy, lax attitude. Because he knew it meant that she had completed her task. Her jolly mood and rather annoying behavior was a good sign. If there was trouble, she would have been as serious as nails.

When her humor finally settled, Tendril decided to continue. "Alright, then we can—"

"Hello..."

Tendril and Ballsy snapped around. Oh. You. It was the girl who looked like she had just finished crawling out of a grave. Just then, the trees sighed and a waft of wind came scratching against his nose. A sour odor stung him. How he didn't smell her from a mile away confused him.

"What do you want?" Tendril asked, narrowing his eyes on her. He was aware of her developing familiarity with Sticks, but that didn't mean he was about to get all buddy buddy with this creep.

She grinned. "No need to be so spicy...uu..." She tapped on her chin. "It's about your roommate...I'm getting a little worried about—"

At first, Tendril thought that he was experiencing his very first earthquake. The ground suddenly shook, as though the dirt was a trampoline and a walrus had just fallen on it.

"What the—?"

A titanic explosion ripped through the air and nearly ruptured Tendril's eardrums. His fight or flight instincts kicked in immediately, and he ducked close to the ground covering his head with his hand while his head swiveled around to the source of the noise.

Ballsy began screaming up a storm, "HOLY RAVIOLI— THE GATE!!"

Indeed. The gates. They called them "gates" but they were more like blast doors from a sci-fi, militaristic space shuttle. They were nigh-on indestructible. And yet, one of them had exploded, fogging the space with opaque gray smoke.

Tendril could hear the screams of a rallying cry.

"Now's our chance!"

Every alarm in the complex began to blare. The smoke cleared and Tendril could hardly believe his eyes.