Fighting Back

Chapter 1 - A Not-So Fresh Start

Noah's POV

End of the week. New school's been 'sactly the same as the last. And the last. And the one before that, and the one before that. They HATE me.

Not 'sactly like I can help it, but I don't why I can't act the same as everybody else. I always have to act so hostile around everyone else. I don't mean it - s'just the way I've been brought up. Been treated like a package... passed on to a new couple so often I can't remember most of their names. Only the ones who have been nice. And the ones who... haven't been so nice, let's say.

I guess my life would change a lot if I told them bullies about what I have to go through every day at 'home'. But I don't see the point... they wouldn't care. It would just urge them to tease me even more. I should know. That's how all this bullying started, early in my life.

I know I have to go through a lot, but I don't like to feel sorry for myself. Y'see, I've told myself to get stronger. Tougher, you know? So I can stand up for myself. Silly stuff like cuts n' bruises don't matter to me no more. I've seen enough of that, I get used to it. It's not the physical pain, but the mental pain. My brain has to cope with all this rubbish, not only at school, but at home.

It didn't used to be like this. In the early, early years of school, people used to like me. The teachers would praise me, the children wanting to pair up with me in a lot of things. I guess I wasn't popular, but fine. Just fine.

Then it changed, about 5 years ago, in Year 2. My parents... well, they couldn't look after me no more. Don't really want to talk about that. Lovely couple looked after me for a while, but then they got too old... so someone else came along. And again, and again, and again, for 5 years. I was so young then... couldn't cope with it. I wouldn't say I was depressed - I just always needed space. If anyone came too close, I would back away. I think it gave the wrong impression. It made me look arrogant, like I didn't need anyone. Well, I did. That's exactly what I DID need. But no-one understood that back then.

So I s'pose its my fault. I still like to be by myself, but I wish they understood. I guess that's too much to ask for.

This week I met a really lovely boy called Billy. Billy... Billy Guberman, or something? Really, he actually isn't the worst bully ever. I've seen worse. He thinks I'm weak. He probably could beat me to a pulp in seconds, but as I said, physical pain don't bother me. Been to the medical room so many times this past week already, I could probably recite the posters. But the way he threats people, making them feel so small... that's what made me cry. Pah. I sound like a baby. Real boys aren't supposed to cry, right?

Anyway, tomorrow isn't going to be any better. I'll be ignored by everyone at home, like every weekend...