Doves and Lovelies

Secrets

(POV: Edgar)

From the beginning, I knew I would lose. How could I be so foolish as to challenge the assassin without knowing the consequences? If I was stronger, I wouldn't have to live in fear. Who should I have turned to in my weakness? Everyone was an enemy, and everyone could be an ally. Maybe things would be different if I had been born into a simpler life. But I was a prince and could not change my life, even if I wanted to. 

As I dreamed of better things, I wondered if I could have lived freer. My body felt heavy, and my mind was no longer my own. A darkness washed over me and smothered me until I fell. 

Where was I? I blinked several times and realized my father was watching me from his throne. He looked down at me with great sadness. But why did he look at me with such an unhappy expression? Have I displeased him again? And why was I in the throne room? I thought I died. Wait... I died? What happened again? I can't remember anymore. My memories drowned in the darkness. Images I should have remembered disappeared into the void of my mind. 

Why do I feel like something is wrong? As though possessed, my mouth moved and said words I never intended to say, "Why couldn't I save my brother? How can I make things right, father?"

My father shook his head and continued to remain silent.

"But father, I can never forget what happened to Credence. If you can't answer me, his memory will haunt me."

"Why should I help you find closure, Edgar? You never found my son's killer. How can you make things right? Find his killer. How do you expect to save anyone if you cannot do this simple thing?"

"But I..."

"Promise me, Edgar. Find his killer."

My father's words rushed over me. I couldn't respond to him. Father has not spoken of Credence since his death. This was the first time in ten years. The nagging sensation rushed over me again. Something was wrong. Why can't I remember? 

"If you cannot find his killer, how do you expect to survive when the killer comes after you?"

"What are you talking about? What killer?" The darkness choked me, and I slowly lost my past, present, and future. Soon, I would be a husk with no thoughts or dreams. The desire to fight against the darkness burned inside. But I was powerless to save myself.

"How could you forget something important like this?"

Words again left my mouth without my intention to speak. "I can no longer remember anything about myself."

"Edgar. Look at me."

My inner voice grew weaker as time passed. I knew I was no longer meant for this world. Death was here. But before I left with Death, I did as my father bid and met his gaze.

"Evil intentions have poisoned you, my son. A dark mage has caught you in his web. The Creator of Them has cursed you to death. And I fear the worst for you. But if you so desire, I can help you."

With the bit of strength I had left, I reached out to my father and whispered, "Help me, Father."

He lifted his hand, and a bright light shot out from his fingers, banishing Death and the darkness that clung to my soul. My memories rushed through my mind. I remembered everything. As I gazed at my father, I could not understand how I was in the throne room. I left to return to my study, but I had been attacked by an assassin. I thought I had died, so how am I here right now? 

As though my father had been reading my thoughts, he said, "After you left the throne room, an assassin attacked you."

"Is that why I am here? Because I died?"