chapter 10 : despair (angst)

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not to get confused:

"Cale" talking

'Cale' thinking

*cale* person or other information

(cale) author's note or author's thought

[cale] letter, book, paper words

{cale} flashback like scenario, regression, childhood, experience etc

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Cale literally has no plan to break down in front of anyone. After the dragon is rescued, he makes the cats fall asleep immediately.

He remembers how anastacius crying in front of him , wants to kill himself just to experience what their call freedom

{" hyung-nim I wonder if I kill my self , I will experience freedom" the white haired 11 yrs old kid while holding knife

" anastacius please don't do that , hyung will be there sooner" cale is in the horse going to duke's mansion

" you know the first time I met you hyung , Im soo happy because you give reason to live again" anastacius crying while holding a small communication device in his other hand

Cale painfully listens to every word . He was afraid once he got there anastacius already gone

" I wonder if this is punishment from gods because of my origin" anastacius know that he doesn't deserve anything but he continues to be greedy and always wishes for freedom

" I'm still praying that one day , I will experience that" he started to cry, it hurt because he doesn't want to die now. He wants to see the world in how his hyung-nim describes to him

" hyung-nim thank you everything, you soo kind " anastacius cut the call from his hyung-nim after saying the words he needed to say.

Anastacius looks at his back . He can see that he is almost at the end of the cliff. He just wishes that his hyung will not be angry with him.

"ANASTACIUS!!!" Cale calling him from afar

" hyung why are you here" anastacius doesn't want to change his mind now

" stop please" cale slowly approaches anastacius that anytime will gonna die

" hyung-nim if reincarnation is true then I want to meet you again" anastacius slowly forms a smile while crying .

Anastacius forcedly breaks his chain on his heart. Causing a nonstop cracking in his body.when cale see it he immediately ran towards him.

" ANASTACIUS!!" Before cale active his spell a barrier reveal itself

" sorry hyung " the cracking caused anastacius to fall on the cliff

You can hear many shouting in the mansion because of the fire. And for cale can't breathe properly. It is his fault , he should have done better then he's still alive

" ANASTACIUS!!!!!"}

"Anastacius" cale mumbled feeling guilty all over again. He should have done something to save him

" You deserve better" cale knows he can't give that to him. The 11 year old kid killed himself because the world is cruel

Cale started to cry remembering every second how anastacius died

" Now you are finally free from the cruel word" he is really useless for everything.how can't he say that he is really heartless.

.......

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