Soulmates

[Seongjoong] 012

Hongjoong

My hand was on the door knob for a second longer, frozen there as I stared, wondering what I had just witnessed.

I quickly spun around to walk out and leave to the other door, feeling my stomach churn when I heard the door behind me open. 

San came out shirtless, buttoning his jeans, "Hongjoong, please let me explain!"

I should've turned around to look at him but instead I just walked straight into the livingroom, feeling so confused and disturbed. I needed to see the other members, I needed to know there were other people here. 

 Seonghwa's eyes widened as he saw me come in, San coming behind me. All of the members were there and relief washed over me even as they looked shocked.

"Oh no." I heard Mingi whisper and I was still feeling a bit too distressed to process what it meant. 

Was I overreacting? It felt disgusting, the way my skin crawled. It wasn't because of the gay sex that I had witnessed but purely the fact that they were my members- no...no they were my kids and I had just walked into San rearranging Wooyoung's guts. I was going to throw up. That was never something I should've seen. I had violated them in so many ways and it made it hard to breathe. 

I vaguely heard San desperately trying to explain but I had realized I hadn't even been listening to a word he was saying.

I didn't look at him, I couldn't look at him. I felt far too embarrassed. 

Sure, I had walked in on people having sex before. Hell, I had heard the muffled moans the members had let out while they took care of their business in this lonely position they'd been given. But this? I know it was a joke to be called the "dad" of the group, but somehow it still felt disturbing. 

Finally San's hands were grabbing my arms as he turned me to face him, "Please listen to me."

I immediately shrugged off his touch. "Don't..." I warned and then I noticed Wooyoung staring in the doorway. His clothes had messily been put on.

My eyes burned.

Holy shit. 

I actually wanted to cry.

Then I was being grabbed again but this time it was Seonghwa and this time I didn't push the touch away because if I did, I was sure I'd collapse by my own shame.

"What happened?" He asked. I didn't know if it was towards me or them but I didn't answer.

"He..." San sounded a bit breathless but I still didn't look at him. "He walked in on...us."

And by the looks on the other members' faces...they knew. How was it I hadn't known? I had known San and Wooyoung were close but I didn't know they were that close. Hell, it was a rule in the dorm that if you took care of business, a sock got put on the door handle. So when San didn't answer, I just opened the door. 

I would've never walked in if I had known. If I knew they were a thing, I would've been more cautious. I would have warned them that the rule still applied.

I gripped onto Seonghwa to steady myself. I felt stupid and embarrassed and ashamed and disgusted. I knew I was over exaggerating, I knew I shouldn't have felt so disgusted but they were my members. They were my responsibility. I took care of them. It felt like I had violated them.