Soulmates

[Seongjoong] 016

Seonghwa 

"You are my responsibility, do you hear me? Mine." Hongjoong said sternly and it did something with my heart that was all too pathetic.

I didn't know why but a small voice in my head wanted to hear him say the words "You Are Mine" and it made me a bit more desperate than I already was.

I was too distracted by him and the impure thoughts that followed... 

"Say it." He then said which made me stare at him a bit puzzled. I knew I was lost in thought but I hadn't known he said anything else.

"Say..." I paused, feeling a bit confused.

"That you're my responsibility." He said coldly.

He was making me all too needy, more than I already was with how I got only so far at the club. I could feel something swell in my gut, throbbing as my desire was still evident.

"I'm your responsibility." I whispered, trying to even the shakiness in my voice so he didn't notice it.

"What was that?" He asked. 

Why was he doing this? Did he want me to turn into a dog in heat? My sanity was slowly slipping away and all I could think of were obscene situations that no member should think of their leader.

"I'm your responsibility." I said louder so he could hear. His face looked satisfied. God, I wanted him so bad.

It was hard enough to have sexual desires in the first place, always worried that something wrong will happen. But those can be handled.

Hell, the members have shared some personal details of how they struggled but had adjusted to it. So I knew I wasn't alone.

But that wasn't the problem and that wasn't the reason I did something so stupid,

He had been fucking driving me insane. Ever since he decided he wanted to try and get closer, it was everything I had to not fucking beg him to fuck me.

Before it was hard but I could manage it. I mean hell, he avoided me most of the time so I thought things would be fine. But now? Oh god. Now.

I was just becoming more and more desperate as the days went by and the closer he came to me. It didn't help after we had a business dinner and got a little tipsy. With Hongjoong it was always hard to tell other than him becoming more comfortable with talking and skinship since he tried not to drink too hard.

He had rested his hand on my inner thigh that night. It wasn't just me who was surprised by the action. I had to quickly run to the bathroom to pound the heat and arousal out of me. 

Yes, it was pathetic and kinda gross that I couldn't even have him touch me without wanting to crumble. But to say I was sex starved was an understatement. I was still mostly a virgin. I didn't know how to describe what Hongjoong and I did that one night, but it wasn't enough for me to be satisfied, so saying I was a dog in heat was the best way to describe how I was feeling.

I was getting tired of fucking myself every night to the thought of him, tired of not having any human touch other than the other members. I think Wooyoung knew just how bad I was because once he sat on my lap and well...that was extremely embarrassing but luckily Wooyoung could sympathize.