little things l.s

the way i do 💞

when louis had put harry down he took the opportunity to clean up around the apartment, a task that had been sorely neglected recently. afterwards, he had settled into the couch, scrolling through his phone while harry napped upstairs.

a couple hours later he finally heard the boy calling for him through the monitor he was being more verbal before, indicating that he was more likely in a older headspace, closer to that of a toddler. louis put his phone down on the coffee table and made his way up the stairs, eager to see his favorite person. 

louis entered the nursery, his heart warming at the sight of harry. "hello, do I have a big boy on my hands this afternoon?" he asked playfully, his eyes warm with affection.

harry's bouncy curls were adorably tousled from where he had been lying on them, and his face lit up when he saw louis. he nodded enthusiastically, signaling that he was indeed a big boy at the moment.

then, with a giggle he reached out towards louis, making grabby hands, a clear indication that he wished to be picked up. louis happily complied, gently lifting him out of his crib and placing him comfortably on his hip, one hand on his back, the other supporting his bum.

louis casually slipped a finger into harry's nappy, not wanting to upset the boy after he had just woken up but wanting to check if it was wet. his concern grew as he found the nappy completely dry. he hadn't used the bathroom yet that day, and louis didn't want him to get sick.

"harry, love," louis began softly, "today, I need you to use your nappy, alright? and don't forget to tell me when you do, okay?" louis hoped that by saying this he would reassure harry that he had nothing to worry about when it came to using it.

harry nodded, understanding louis' words. It was a gentle reminder that they were still learning and becoming comfortable with each other and that it was not in any way unusual that harry was still a bit shy, even in his headspace.

harry's eyes sparkled with excitement, "play now?" he asked hopefully.

louis grinned, "of course sweetheart," he said, reaching for a box of colorful building blocks and a container full of toy cars. harry dropped to his knees on the carpeted floor of the nursery immediately, eager to play with his new toys.  

he pushed the little vehicles across the soft carpet, making adorable car noises that filled the room. his imagination was in full gear as he mimicked the sounds of engines revving and wheels screeching around corners.

however after only a few minutes harry seemed to have bored of playing with the cars, instead looking up at louis, his expression now serious. 

"done playing now, bug?" louis asked confused as to why his boy had suddenly stopped playing when he'd been so happily doing so only a moment before.

harry shook his head, "wan dollies. lou have dollies?" 

louis couldn't help but chuckle at harry's cute request. "dollies, huh? i don't have any right now, but we can get some soon if you'd like." he said, ruffling the boy's chocolate brown curls affectionately.

harry looked up at louis with his big green eyes, "can harry really have dollies?" he asked, a hint of uncertainty evident in his voice.

louis paused, sensing the weight behind the question. "why wouldn't you be able to?" he asked gently.

harry's face fell slightly as he whispered, "because they're for girls. only bad, bad boys play with dollies."

louis knelt down, meeting harry's eyes seriously. "hey, thats not true at all," he said firmly. "toys are for everyone and you should play with whatever you want. if my boy wants dollies, we'll get you some."

louis' radical acceptance had a pretty big effect on harry, but it was in no way negative. It gently pulled harry out of his headspace, prompting him to say what was on his mind, "no one has ever accepted me like this before, not even the people who love- loved me- or claimed to anyway." 

louis leaned in closer, gently cupping harry's cheek, "you know, even if they did truly love you," he began, "they clearly never loved you the way I do."