spears of Uu'kata (CLEAN(ish) Version)

Chapter 52 - Give a Girl a Knife

Vasquez had planted back doors and bots into the Warthog's security system during the years he'd been stationed here, because one just never knew what was going to happen, but it was barely enough to fight the cyber battle being waged against his defenses. He knew the Warthog was aggressive, but this was insane. The ship was fighting back with everything it had.

His team was still singing Bon Jovi around him and he let them. It was a good tactic, actually. Anyone waiting for them was likely to think they were just a bunch of drunk soldiers.

It would only work once. But hopefully, they'd only need it to work once.

The klaxon was still blaring, red lights flashing but Vasquez had killed the cameras to this entire level and jammed communications.

They came upon a set of doors and just as Vasquez passed them, he heard one slide open.

The entire team pivoted and aimed.

A young woman with a brilliant mess of thick red curls wearing a tank top and panties and nothing else leaned out and sang, "Yeah! You gotta hold onto what we have. It doesn't matter if we have it some not!"

She held a half-empty bottle of vodka in one hand and slurred every word.

Weapons instantly snapped downward.

"I love oldies," she said before stumbling over nothing. With a yelp, she fell right into Chelling, who caught her, his massive hands making her look tiny. She had tattoos of butterflies that swirled up one of her legs and disappeared under her panties. The bodies of the butterflies were wrenches.

She looked up, and up, and blinked several times, trying to focus.

"Ho-ly shitballs," she said drunkenly. "You are fuzzy!" She buried her face against his bare chest and motorboated him in between saying, "I love teddy bears!"

Vasquez snorted. The big Uu'k'asht didn't seem to know what to do with himself, or the drunk woman blowing raspberries on him.

Giggles broke out through the team.

"How did you get out?" Vasquez asked, glancing at the open door.

She looked drunkenly in his direction. "I'm a mechanic engine, good sir," she slurred. "You can't keep me in something as... as simple as room."

"Right... miss, you need to get back inside," Ben said.

"No," she said. "It's lo-lonley in there. And out here there's singing and giant fuzzies."

She wrapped her arms around Chelling's waist, seemingly intent on holding on.

Chelling's expression went from alarmed to mystified as he slowly touched her red curls.

"Jesus. Whatever," Vasquez said, focusing once more on keeping the doors behind them shut "She's yours to look after, big guy. Shit, these fucking doors!"

"What's wrong with the doors?" Drunk girl asked.

"I need them to stay the fuck shut so we don't get shot in the back and the security system keeps trying to open them," he growled, trying to set up another bot. He'd already lost three doors.

"Well... why not just cut the, the hidro... tuby-thingies. Hydro... l...ocks."

Vasquez looked up sharply, frowning hard at her. "What are you talking about?" he demanded.

"The Warty isn't just A.I. and electronic gosties, you know," she said drunkenly. "It's also parts and liquids and... and twistie thingies and tubes and... you get it, right?"

"How does that help us?" he asked.

The girl snorted and shook her head. "Computers nerds and grunts don't know shit," she said, stumbling away from Chelling and holding out her hand. "Gimme a knife."