Emily I'm Sorry; Yellowjackets

twenty-seven.

(Emily I'm Sorry)
ACT ONE — CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

A fair warning this chapter talks about a heavier topic, so proceed with caution

1996

The stream trickled beside them, and the small stones and pebbles crunched under their shoes. Emily released Natalie's hand when she noticed Coach Ben up ahead.

"Hey," Natalie smiled, as they approached him, and he nodded, "Hey."

"Is it cool if we—" she motioned, asking if they could sit.

"So," Natalie started, "How'd you convince Misty to go?"

Emily let out a small laugh, gently bumping into her girlfriend's shoulder.

"Well," he cleared his throat, "Believe it or not, I didn't have to. I did think about it but uh— she beat me to the punch."

Emily flicked one of the tiny pebbles into the water, watching as small rings rippled around it. She found it strange how such a small thing, could have an ongoing impact. 

"You guys do know that we were never—" Ben explained, but the statement fell short.

Emily nodded, with a small sympathetic smile, they all knew that whatever relationship Misty thought they had, was entirely in her head.

"Well, I'm pretty sure she's not your—type," Natalie stated, and Emily raised an eyebrow at her.

Ben scoffed, "Yeah, what's that?"

"You like guys right?" Natalie asked, and Emily snapped around to face her, "Nat! You can't just—"

"What?"  he paused, "What the hell Nata—"

"No, no, sorry sorry," she rushed out, "I didn't mean to— I don't know." Natalie finally sat down and Emily was not far behind.

"It's just you never look at our boobs." Natalie said, "Even Miss Emily doesn't have a perfect track record with that."

Emily's jaw fell open, "Oh shut it, Nat." she nudged her, and the other girl giggled.

"Well, while we're on the subject...are you two..."

Natalie wordlessly nodded in response to Ben's question, and Emily smiled softly, she felt so much safer when she was with the other girl.

"So how about you...got a boyfriend?" The bleached blonde questioned with a small teasing smile.

"Yeah...I did." Ben nodded, "Paul. He's a writer, he actually wanted me to move into the city with him...you know really be with him, but..."

"If you lost him you're afraid you'd have nothing left," Natalie stated, and Emily reached for her hand, gently entangling their fingers.

"Yeah..." Ben's voice trailed off, "Just a small piece of advice to you, it seems like you have something really good. Hold on to it, don't be an idiot and make mistakes when things get scary."

"I mean this is about as scary as it gets, our plane literally crashed." Emily pointed out jokingly but then sincerely nodded, "But thank you, I will do my best not to fuck up the single good thing I have."

"How do you do it?" Emily asked quietly, she had gone back to talk to Laura Lee, she had missed talking to her.

"Do what?" Laura Lee arched an eyebrow at Emily, curious about what she could do that she couldn't.

Emily felt like she could learn a lot from the other girl, the truth was Laura Lee had always been braver than her. That went the whole way back to summer camps ran by the church.

A year or two before Emily and Laura Lee stopped talking, they were at this camp, and for the first time, they were allowed to do the same things as the older kids. 

Emily didn't want to admit to being afraid of heights so she followed her best friend to the top of the zipline, which looking back on the day wasn't even that high off the ground, the most you could do was break your wrist or something. However, when they reached the top Emily just started crying and Laura Lee just looked at her with utter confusion, they had been waiting for this moment for years.

The Jensen girl was terrified the whole time, but Laura Lee somehow managed to talk her down and insisted on going first on the zipline, so that she could show her it was safe.

"Keep your faith." Emily's eyes dropped away from Laura Lee's, "Even before all this shit happened...I was having a lot of issues."

"It's not easy, you know," Laura Lee spoke carefully, "Especially with everything that's happened to all of us."

"I was uh--when I was fourteen," Emily started, her voice so quiet Laura Lee could hardly hear her, "There was this...this thing that happened to me." she pulled her lip between her teeth holding back tears.

"This horrible thing, it ruined me." she sucked in a small breath, "And the worst part is no one believed me. I mean, if not even my own father would believe me, who would?"

Laura Lee didn't say anything, not yet, she just listened.

"That's when it got bad when I told my dad, and he basically accused me of being a liar and a sinner. I was so pissed at the world, at God, I mean if he has a plan for everyone, why the fuck did he let such a horrible thing happen to me? I was a kid. So I threw a wrench in our friendship, I stopped praying, I turned to anything that would take the edge off...mostly pills."

The golden-haired blonde opened her mouth, searching for something to say, "Em...were you, raped?" her last words fell nearly silent, and Emily's lip quivered, as she managed a small nod.

"Oh, Emily," she whispered softly and the other teenager turned away from her glance. 

Emily took a few deep breaths, "I want to be able to have faith again. I don't know how to do that, I need your help, how do I get it back?"

Laura Lee gently rubbed Emily's back, "I don't know, Em...but I'm here for you, for whatever you need."

"Thank you."

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hi!! It's been a minute, but I am back!! Since I last updated this book, I actually have gotten to experience Emily, I'm Sorry sung live. I died dead (I was literally crying.) And to my fellow Boygenius fans, what's your fav track on The Rest?

Hope everyone is well!

-Via <3