II. The Impact of Her

~ Twenty-Two ~

"Should I become a horse, will you treat me just the same?"

"Mallory, I'm not in the mood to have another argument with you," I said as I kept my focus on Lady. I added, "I have too much in my mind right now. I have too much in my life right now. I can't afford to waste time on another debate with you."

"Is it because of Laura?" she asked as her footsteps slowly approached me.

I remained silent and proceeded with what I was doing. She was now aware of my feelings for Laura. But that didn't mean that I owed her any explanation.

"It's Laura, isn't it?" she repeated as she stood beside me.

"Why does it matter?" I asked, irritated. I faced her and continued, "What is it to you? If I admit that it's because of her, what will you do?"

"That day when I introduced you both to one another, I saw the stares you shared," she started. I returned to Lady as she continued, "I saw the horror in your eyes and the pain in hers. I'm not that stupid to allow that to go unnoticed."

I walked towards the nearby well with a bucket. "With that on your mind, what do you want from me, then?" I asked as I drew water from the well.

"She is not my friend anymore. Did she tell you about that?" Mallory asked.

Pulling on the rope, I asked, "Do I look like I care about your friendship with her?" As soon as the bucket was up, I removed the rope and returned to Lady.

"You don't care because you're glad about it," she replied, following closely behind me. "You're delighted because I won't be in your way. I won't be a problem to your blossoming relationship with each other."

"If you want to see it in that light, then that's your opinion," I answered, still not giving her the attention that she craved. Keeping my patience intact at this moment was a struggle. I didn't know how she occupied her time. But it felt as if she always had the time to bother me.

"Aren't you even affected in the slightest?!" she raised her voice.

"Should I be?" I asked as I faced her. "It's your decision to break your friendship with her. I didn't ask that of you. You were the one who decided on that. Just like with the decision that you made to introduce us to one another," I continued.

"I chose you over her!" she shouted, poking my chest as she pointed at me. "She stole you from me!"

"I want to remind you that I never told you to choose me," I put my hands behind me. I explained, "And she never took anything from you. She didn't steal me from you. I have feelings for her and I don't have any for you. That's the difference between my connection with you and with you."

"Robert, can't you just–" she then stepped closer towards me, her hands in front of her.

I immediately pushed her away from me, not hard enough to cause her to fall. Out of frustration, I gritted, "I want to make something perfectly clear. And I'm going to repeat this because it seems that you truly don't understand the truth. I can't love you the same way that you love me. I don't love you like that. The only thing that I can offer you is friendship."

I added, "You are a sister to me. And that's the only friendship that I can offer."

"But, Robert–"

"Your Highness!" someone yelled from the kitchen. Gonzalo rushed into the stables, panting. "Your Highness," he said as he tried to catch his breath, "Her Majesty is calling for you."

I instantly put the brush down. "Return Lady to her place. Give her food and water," I instructed before running to the master chambers.

~*~*~*~

Upon arriving at the master bedroom, I composed myself before entering. As soon as I stepped foot into the room, my heart broke. Mother was in an even worse state than before. She looked paler than how she was a while ago.

I tiptoed in. But somehow, she felt my presence. "Robert," she called out with a faint smile and weak voice. She then turned to my direction.

I walked faster towards her and sat beside her. "Mother, I am here. Gonzalo said you called for me."

"It took you a long time to get here. Where have you been?" she asked.

"I was in the stables with Lady," I said as I held her hand in mine. "Is there something wrong, Mother?"

"Please, give us a moment," she instructed her maids. They all curtsied and left the room, carrying their basins of water and cloth.

"Mother, what's wrong? What's going on?" I asked once again.

"Robert, dear," she started as she held my hands, "Can you promise me that you'll watch over your father and sister?"

"What?" my brows furrowed. "What do you mean? What are you talking about? Why are you saying such things?" my questions kept coming out from my mouth. Fear slowly built from within me.

"Robert, I know that I won't be by your side any longer. And it's all because of this unknown illness that I have," said Mother, not forgetting to take pauses to catch her breath. She continued, "Therefore, I am asking you, begging you, to watch over your family as I will watch over you from the other side."

"Mother, don't say that. Stop saying goodbye. You are not going to die," I replied, leaning closer as I cupped her face with one hand, holding her hand with the other. "This isn't some kind of disease that you won't be able to overcome. It's merely a different type that wasn't taken care of immediately."

"Robert, this... is my body. And I know... that this is how my body is telling me... that my time is nearly over," she answered. "So, can you give me your word? Can you promise me that?"

"Mother, I don't understand where you're getting these ideas from. I understand that you've been sick for more than a few days. But that doesn't mean you are to die," I repeated as I refused to accept her explanation of death.

I asked another, "Aren't you overreacting about this situation?"

"Robert, if this were a simple fever, it wouldn't have lasted for more than five days," she argued. She continued, "You know very well... that whenever I get sick... it doesn't last for two days. I don't lie in bed... whenever I'm ill. This one is different. And even you cannot deny that."

"Mother, I know that you're worried about this. But, please, until we have no certainty of what illness it is that you have, death shouldn't be in our conversation," I pleaded.

"But can you promise me that?" she repeated.

"Mother, please. Stop this madness," I kissed her forehead as I gripped her hands tighter. "You are not going to die. Do you understand?"

She then laid a gentle kiss on my hand. "I love you with all of my heart, dear one," she smiled. Mother then cupped my right cheek with her hand.

"I love you more than you love me, Mother," I returned a smile.

"Now, kindly tell the maids to come back in," she said. "Go ahead and do what it is that you need to do."

"Are you sure? I can stay with you until you go back to sleep," I offered.

"There's no need for that, Robert. Your father and Aunt Bethilda will be here shortly," she reassured.

"If you say so," I forced a smile.

I wasn't comfortable leaving Mother in the presence of Bethilda. At the same time, I wasn't amused about the fact that James has spent more time with his duties, rather than staying to look after Mother. His queen.

I knew he had so much on his plate at the moment. But wasn't the queen as important as his royal obligations?

I bowed and carefully let go of her hand before I headed to the door.