II. The Impact of Her

~ Twenty-Seven ~

She looked at me, surprised and baffled. She asked, "Were you eavesdropping again?"

"I was about to knock on your door when I heard your conversation. And allow me to say this, Mother: you are acting like a child. You're not accepting our help and you're being stubborn," I replied.

Mother giggled gently, careful not to hurt herself. "Robert, I'm only being realistic. And now that you know what we talked about, I have my reasons as to why I'm rejecting any sort of treatment."

"The Medicine King said you believe that your time to die has come," I raised a brow. "I don't understand who you can think of that. Aren't you worried about leaving Elizabeth and me?"

"Robert, we all must accept the arrival of our demise," she said as she reached out a hand to mine. "The Medicine King has treated me like a child when I only reasoned with him. Acceptance is key to everything, including death."

"Mother, please. Stop saying that you're going to die," I begged. "You're going to recover. And you will recover. Do you understand me?" I continued as I leaned closer to her.

"Robert, I know the truth and I'm not afraid of it," Mother smiled. "I will humbly accept the kiss of death, instead of suffering endlessly."

"Mother, just because fate has decided, that doesn't mean you can't change it. We mustn't allow fate to decide what is best for us," I protested. "This is your life, Mother. You should be the one controlling it, not the other way around."

"Even if we do anything, death is inevitable. What is even the point of trying?" she argued.

"Mother, are you in a rush to leave us?" I asked. "We want you to get treatment so that you can live longer; so that we can be together for a long time."

"And still die in the end," she retorted.

"Mother, can you please stop that?" I groaned.

"My dear son, sooner or later, you'll realise why I act and think like this," she smiled in an attempt to comfort me. She might not be aware of this, but she was everything to me. I couldn't afford to lose anyone in my life, especially my mother. She has been the constant rock of this family for years. And now that my life wasn't going the way I expected, I needed her more than ever.

We needed her more than ever.

"How about you take your rest, Mother?" I smiled. "I will come back later."

She nodded, her face still has that gentle smile. She's been very brave during her illness. She must retain as much strength as she possibly can. I laid a soft peck on her forehead.

Her eyes slowly closed as she drifted to a peaceful slumber. After watching over her for a few more minutes, I quietly left the room and headed back to mine. Mother has been thinking too much about her condition to the point where she believed she was to return to dust. But for me, she only needed some rest from everything. The same could be said for me.. I have nothing much to do today, anyways.

~*~*~*~

My eyes squinted as the soft light from the afternoon sun greeted me. It already peeked through the window, ready to see me. I sat up and gave myself a bit of a stretch. And even though I have rested, my mind, heart, and soul were still uneasy. I still had this clenched feeling within my chest. Being reminded of what I did to Laura continued to hurt me.

The guilt has overpowered my body, I couldn't think properly because of it. I was too mad at myself. I hated myself for what I did to her. I became some sort of monster, all because she didn't agree with what I wanted. And I hated myself for that because that was how James treated me.