Kiss me if you dare [ENGLISH]

Chapter 11

Fleur

The black velvet dress fit perfectly on her body as she gazed at herself in the mirror. Fleur had struggled to decide whether her father would have wanted a dark or light funeral attire, but for some reason, it didn't feel right to wear white clothes to bid him farewell.

She adjusted the brooch depicting a black rose above her left breast and accidentally pricked herself on the safety pin. Her hair was freshly washed and styled in a braided knot on the side, which had been incredibly tricky to achieve. In total, she had spent three hours getting ready, but it still felt like something was missing. It was probably just her imagination—maybe a defense mechanism preventing her from realizing what was happening. Fleur was not ready to say a final goodbye to James. It wasn't right. It wasn't right that his lifeless body lay in the casket while Urban was still on the loose.

What had her father done to deserve the fate that had befallen him?

After their visit to the outskirts of Thornhill, she and Mella had gone their separate ways and had no contact at all. Fleur convinced herself that it was for the best. It had given her enough time to plan the funeral with Gabriel's help over the past week. Besides, Mella probably had her hands full with work.

There were twenty minutes left until the ceremony was set to begin. Gabriel had offered her a ride, but she had declined. It wasn't far from the church anyway. Fleur gathered herself, slung her purse over her shoulder, and then made her way out of the apartment. She hadn't prepared a speech, and even though the priest they had spoken to had said it wasn't necessary, she knew people expected it. Above all, she wanted to get the whole thing over with as quickly as possible so that the townsfolk could stop pitying her and move on with their own lives.

***

Gabriel and Patricia stood waiting outside the ancient chapel's gates as she walked along the gravel path. To Fleur's surprise, Patricia was in a state of despair, carefully wiping away tears with a handkerchief. Either she was sensitive, or she simply thought it was appropriate. Fleur didn't like it either way. Patricia had never cared about James before, making this whole show more of an insult.

"You arrived just in time," Gabriel said as she approached.

Fleur glanced into the church and was horrified to see that the pews were already filled. What a disaster. Had she come last among all the guests?

Gabriel seemed to understand her embarrassment and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "No one is judging you."

The front row of seats was empty and meant for them. The glances she received were not very discreet, although that was probably the intention, and it was hard to ignore them. Most of the guests were police officers who had worked with James at some point, but there were also old friends from university.

On the left side of the aisle, she saw the back of two people she recognized all too well—her grandparents. She had met them very few times during her upbringing, but she was not particularly grateful that they had the opportunity to come. Both of them now sat up straight, their faces directed towards the altar with stern expressions. At least they were being quiet. Usually, they barely expressed any emotion other than anger and irritation.

Fleur decided to focus on the beautiful casket made of expensive wood on top of the podium. It felt strange to see it up close. If she reached out, she would almost touch the lid. However, she resisted the urge and clasped her hands in her lap instead.

The priest was neatly dressed and looked sad, but Fleur knew it was all for show. He had probably conducted a thousand funerals before this one and had grown accustomed to grief. A cough came from one of the back rows just as the organ began playing music. Fleur wasn't particularly religious, unlike her father and his side of the family, but now she wanted to believe in an afterlife. She couldn't imagine an abrupt end. She had to hold onto the hope of seeing him again someday.