You wouldn't shed any tears as you drove away from the Dutton ranch for the last time, but that deadly grip you had on the wheel was a sure sign that something was profoundly wrong. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Lloyd studying you. Unsure how to proceed. You liked every cowboy in the bunkhouse, but Lloyd held a special place in your heart. In the last year he had become a father figure to you. Though loyal to the Duttons, he hadn't shied away when he saw something bothering you about them. Always willing to help, a listening ear and advice based on his own experience with this unique family.
You didn't want to worry him because the next few hours were nerve-wracking enough for him. You weren't kidding when you told them about your long day at the hospital. They just didn't know that it would involve Lloyd after all. And not in the way Beth had hinted.
You were good at what you did. But even you had to swallow, as Lloyd had come to you with his medical chart a few weeks earlier. Looking through his file, you knew no one was going to risk surgery. With his tumor, it was a death sentence. There was little to no chance of success, and no doctor would jeopardize their reputation for it. No doctor but you. Because you knew that Lloyd wouldn't want to live the life that awaited him for the next few months. The vegetating, the pain, before he would finally be allowed to succumb.
Lloyd was a fighter, like everyone else at the Dutton ranch. And you were grateful that he trusted you enough to reach out to you. A second opinion. A ray of hope that it would not mean the end. And you could give that to him. Because either you used your neurosurgical magic or put a loaded revolver in his hands. Because if you hadn't agreed to the surgery that put his life in your hands, you knew it would have been his that would have ended it.
And so you pulled out all the stops to get the hospital management to agree to the risky operation. You had to call in a favor or two and now you were in debt to one or the other. But in the end the operation was approved. No one needed to know how much it cost you to have the surgery approved. As Beth put it so beautifully, you were Miss Doing-the-right-thing-no-matter-what after all.
"You're not coming back?" Lloyd asked cautiously.
You had no idea how he knew that, but somehow he must have sensed your sadness, the pain that consumed your soul.
"It is not up to me. He kicked me off the ranch. Never to come back."
Lloyd let out a deep sigh.
"Don't take it too seriously. Surely it was something he said out of... I don't know why he said what he said. But let me tell you one thing. In all the years that I've worked for him, every single one of his children had been thrown off the ranch. At least once."
"I'm not one of his children. This is different." You couldn't help but answer. There was no hope left in you that you could somehow fix it. And if you were being honest, it wasn't even up to you to fix it.
"I know. But please don't give up on him. For the both of you. For all of us. After Evelyn... something died with her. And not only in John and their children. As if her death had also taken some light, some warmth, from the ranch itself." Lloyd's breath caught. Evelyn was a subject not to be discussed at the ranch. At all. And so it surprised you all the more that he did it now. "I haven't seen him this happy in a long time. And not just him. You have given us all so much joy, warmth, comfort and care. And I hope you felt it from us too. You have grown dear to all of us. Please don't give up now. There's so much more to come. Okay?"
"We will see. And otherwise…"
"Otherwise he'll get the beating of his life as soon as I get back to the ranch. I can't believe that old fool can be so downright stupid sometimes." You couldn't help the smile that stole on your lips. At least your heartbreak had given Lloyd a reason to fight. Even if it meant teaching his boss, the love of your life, a lesson.
"My cowboy in shining spurs." You couldn't help the chuckle that escaped you.
"You're damn right I am."
