Captivate me

Reconciliation

A friend of mine is celebrating her birthday and invited me to one of the most expensive clubs in London, it's terribly difficult to get in, but apparently she knows someone who works there. As I walk to the bar and scan the room, my eyes linger on a familiar face and time seems to stand still. For a moment I can only focus on him.

Noel stares at me with a straight face. I guess he wasn't expecting me here, but neither was I expecting him. The light suddenly brightens and I recognise his band members of which some are quite a bit younger than him. He must have been dragged along, otherwise only younger people are out and about here.

I straighten up and take a sip of the gin and tonic I've just ordered without breaking eye contact with him. Then I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. What this man triggers in me is unbelievable, total chaos reigns in my head when I see him. I avert my gaze from his and go back to my friends.

I often look over to him while I dance. Every time he already looks at me and our eyes meet. I feel hot under his gaze. I can't read what's on his mind, he looks emotionless. But I feel like he's literally undressing me and I stop dancing, a shiver runs down my spine. His hair is a little longer than usual, I think it suits him incredibly well, I would love to run my fingers through it. Would he like that?

One of his friends pats him on the shoulder and he looks at him, his face lightens up and he laughs at whatever the person said to him. I feel the need to make him laugh as well. His laugh is so beautiful. Don told me once, that he's embarrassed about it, because his eyes almost disappear, but I just think it's adorable.

When I come out of the bathroom, Noel is standing in front of me. I look down, I don't dare to look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry how our conversation went recently. Of course I'm interested in what you say. I'm interested in everything about you, if I'm being honest."
I snort. "It's okay Noel, I'm just your son's friend to you, I get it."
"No, you don't understand anything. You speaking with Patrick like that made me incredibly jealous.", he says in a desperate tone and clenches his hands to fists.
"I'm terribly sorry Em, really, I'm no one who apologises easily without meaning it. It made me furious to see you acting like that with him. I wanted... I wanted to be the one who you're flirting with." He huffs.

"Please look at me.", Noel says softly and unclenches his hands to lift my chin up with his index finger. His touch is light, yet it says so much.

I see something different on his face than expected. He smiles down at me.

"I'm interested in you in a completely different way, but a relationship like this wouldn't work between us, we have to be realistic. I am a twice divorced musician with children, who is in the newspaper every other week. I used to consume excessive amounts of drugs and alcohol. And you, you are a beautiful young student who has her whole life ahead of her. I would only complicate your life, believe me."

"What if that's exactly what I want. Why should I want my life to be that easy? Since when is the easy way, the right way? I don't care what kind of life you had before. It's the here and now that matters to me, from the first moment I saw you, I knew you were different than anyone I've ever met before. Your music touch's people on a completely different level and the way you treat me, touch me... it just feels so right to me", I mutter.

Now I have the feeling that he looks directly into my soul.
"No Em. We have to hold back, as hard as it's going to be. You have no idea how many times I've wanted to kiss you, to hug you, to take all your burdens off your shoulders, I-" I interrupt him.
"Than do it. My only problem is that I fell for my best friends father and up until now I thought he didn't give a fuck about me."

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