the nova turner paradox

iv. a cheerleader's mom

04:10

I decided to never leave my bed at all. Thirteen minutes I laid there static, like a patient in a catatonic state. I'd thought of all the wildest ideas that could probably – just probably – make a glitch in the mess, just enough for me to break the time loop. My ideas include stripping down naked in front of Nova, dying my hair red, wearing a kangaroo onesie and then hang from the branches of the trees, tying myself in my bed . . . these ridiculous ideas are enough evidence of just how badly desperate I was to go through the night without her getting her skull crushed or being shot by a gun. Maybe oddly weird things might break this time loop, and even if Nova would spend the rest of high school weirded out by me, I'd prefer that than her being dead.

At 11:43, I heard Nova knock on my window, as I knew she would – I went through it enough times to know. I stayed still.

"Hello?" Nova whispers. Hearing her voice felt comforting. It was nice to hear that after watching her die in my arms. I felt a squeeze in my heart when I remembered her eyes, so dead and blank in the night. "Hello, Miss Cheerleader?"

I didn't move. As much as I wanted to see Nova's face after seeing her dead in my previous loop, I didn't move and bit my lower lip. I wondered what would happen if I never interacted with her at all.

"Oh, shit," she said. "My palms are sweaty now . . ."

I resisted the temptation to move. I had to test it out. What would happen if we never saw each other?

"Okay, I'll just . . ." I heard a few shuffles, grunts. "I'll let go and . . . ah, fuck!"

I sprang upright, ran to my window, and peeked. If she had died and I wouldn't loop back, I would literally end everything.

But then after sliding up my window and peeking outside, I heaved a sigh of relief because I saw that she wasn't dead. Rubbing her elbow and grunting in pain, sure, but she was alive, and she seemed fine.

She wasn't dead. Perhaps it worked?

"Hello?" I heard mom speak, making my ears perk in sudden interest – Mom interacting with Nova in a loop? Now that's new. "What are you . . . hey! Excuse me?"

"Uh, hi!" said Nova. She was still holding her elbow. It really seemed that she hurt and guilt bit my heart. "I was just trying to . . . uh . . ."

"What?"

"I was trying to climb your daughter's window," she said with finality, like a forced confession. "She's my, uh . . . friend."

A friend, huh. I didn't know Nova could consider me that. I thought we were acquaintances at best.

"Well, why didn't you just knock?" Mom said with a light chuckle so familiar and comfortable I almost teared up. Hearing my mother – my best best friend in the world – was just what I needed. "I could let her off the curfew if she's with a friend!"

Suddenly I was angry because she has never told me anything like that! I got up from my window, got dressed, and went downstairs. I saw her sitting with Nova on the couch, laughing and talking to each other as though they were good friends.

This time I felt really, really relieved, because with a new character in our loop, I had a good feeling that everything would go well that night. Many things could be done if Mom was in the picture, like for instance, she could be the one to drive us to Nova's gig, or she could convince her to not go at all and instead of Nova getting hit by a car the three of us could spend the night baking cookies and nobody would die . . . or something like that.

"Nova! What a . . . surprise!" I said. It was difficult to lie at that point. "What are you doing here?"

"Asking your mom out on a date," Nova said, wiggling her eyebrows.