When The Cameras Are Off.

.. Un

Being a sixteen year old in a survival program of twenty-two other contestants was just stress and anxiety waiting to happen, and it was.

Anybody who went through the hell that was I-Land would agree. Twenty-three people crammed into one building, forced to share rooms, take showers in a small amount of time, cameras in nearly every room. A bunch of young kids just trying to reach their dreams they've been wanting all their lives.

Poor Ni-Ki was only fourteen in the time of I-Land, leaving everything behind to start a new life as an idol after the Global Sensation BTS. Everybody wanted to be them. They barely got any sleep, waking up at ungodly hours of the day to practice, eating only a little bit for what seemed like every other week. It was torture, quite literally so.

Jungwon couldn't tell you how many times he had cried from stress and anxiety of not passing daily tests, he doesn't have enough fingers and toes for that. He practiced every single day, every hour of the day. He practiced until his body couldn't take anymore. Tears that he shed, blood and bruises of hard falls he took that weren't picked up by the camera.

There was one person that made his I-Land experience tolerable, though. His Jay Hyung. He was like Jungwon's energy to keep going, keep striving towards his dreams. He met him on his way back to his hometown after being scouted to join I-Land. Jungwon was only so young and didn't have enough money to afford a taxi ride home. Jay was probably on his way back home too and offered some money for the taxi.

Jungwon made it home safe that night.

When I-Land started, there was about a week void of human interactions. Jungwon was worried he couldn't see his Taxi savior that night until I-Land officially started. He was ecstatic seeing the long-haired eagle looking boy. He knew that maybe the program wouldn't be so bad. And it wasn't.

Despite the stress, the tears, the anxiety, Jay always seemed to be there. Welcoming him in warm open arms, hugs tight and grounding, words of reassurance giving Jungwon an ounce of hope that maybe he'd make it through.

Then the day finally came. It was the day all judges vote on who would debut to be a boy group, an idol. All nine contestants were left, the only ones who survived. K, Ni-Ki, Sunoo, Heeseung, Sunghoon, Jay, Jake, Daniel, and himself. All stood on the stage with stoic expression but Jungwon knew all of them were nervous, including himself.

"Tonight, the final test to complete the journey will be broadcasted worldwide" the host said, Jungwon felt his hands shake, his breathing steadily escalating. Remember what Jay Hyung said. Four seconds in, five seconds hold, six seconds out. Repeat, repeat, re-

"At this very moment, Nine I-Landers have made it to the final test stage after the 113 day long journey. Among them, only seven who survived through the night will finally make their debut." The host said. Those words on repeat in his brain. Only seven? What if Jay doesn't make it? What will I do?? Jungwon thought.

Jungwon was so focused on his thoughts, he couldn't quite register all that was happening next. It all seemed a blur. Shaking eyes looking to his right at his Jay Hyung whose eyes were also nervous. Thoughts on Jungwons mind reeling on what life would be like without Jay, How he won't be able to go on.

"The final test shall begin now." The intercom man blasted throughout the stage. One Hundred thirteen days of practicing led to this moment.

All nine of them got into position for their final song, I&Credible. Jay lightly poking Jungwon's side. The cat boy looked over at his hyung who gave a smile of reassurance. Let's do well. Was only mouthed but with a racing heartbeat and calm nerves, Jungwon felt he could do his best.

Then the dance begun. Everyone practiced and did their best. Sharp moves, practiced facial expressions made to fit the performance.

Now listen to the beating of my heart...

Could Jay hear his heart beat ??

After innumerable crashes and crumbles
.
.
"Jay Hyung..." Jungwon started once they made it back to I-Land. His Jay Hyung waiting there for him as he walked into the arms warm around his body. "You're okay...you did well.." Jay muttered into his ear, hands rubbing his back. "But it wasn't good enough.." Jungwon cried out into Jay's shoulder.

"Don't let that discourage you, use it as a reason to do better. You got this."
.
.

The lights drawn out and the last few seconds of I&Credible faded out with the last ending position. The claps of the judges and the other contestants gave Jungwon one more ounce of hope that maybe, just maybe they did well.

Jay looked over at Jungwon, breathing heavily from all the moves they pulled and gave a bright smile when his eyes met his. They're okay.

---

Jungwon stood off to the side with the other eight performers. All of them were nervous taking deep breaths, fanning their sweaty hands, some even worked up to tears. It was like everything was in slow motion, a ringing in his ears that didn't want to go away. Then a hand taking his.

He looked to his side and spotted Jay looking at him with the warmest smile, his heart racing but not from nerves this time. His eyes widened just lightly before looking away, squeezing Jay's hand.

"Six of them will be chosen by global viewers.." the host said and everyone looked at the six lit podiums where the global viewers' chooses would be. The anxiety working up in Jungwons veins.

"And one of them selected by the producers" a much more muffled voice came in. Jungwons breathing slowly getting faster. What if I don't make it?

Jay noticed Jungwon's breathing was getting a little faster. He wrapped an arm around jungwons shoulder and squeezed. Two eyes looking at him seemingly teary. Jay was in a trance with those sparkling eyes, wanting to wipe them but an elbow in his side stopped him.

He cleared his throat and removed his hand, looking apologetically at Daniel who smiled and looked at Jungwon who was calmer.

--

Jungwon watched the host introduce all nine of them by rank which seemed a lot more humiliating than anything. K left first, Ni-Ki, Sunoo, Heeseung, Sunghoon...

"The sixth survivor, Jay." The host said and Jungwon cheered silently as Jay stepped out, standing beside Sunghoon who smiled lightly at him. Jungwon swallowed the lump in his throat, it all felt surreal at the same time.

"The ninth and last survivor, Yang Jungwon." The host said and Jungwon stood behind the doors and watched them slowly open to the crowd. He made eye contact with the camera and walked out on stage and right next to Daniel. Almost there... Jungwon thought, licking his dry lips.

----

"I'll announce the fourth debut member" the host said throughout the stage. Heeseung, Ni-Ki, and Jake were on the podium so far, in tears and bright smiles. Jay wishes he were them but he couldn't smile whilst drowning in the nerves he felt right now. There was only three more positions left and it was a fifty-fifty chance he or Jungwon would be up there.

"The fourth member to debuted is..." The host dragged out and jay took a moment to glance at Jungwon who looked like he was gonna cry, how badly he wanted to go over there and wipe his tears.

"Jay." The host said and Jay took a moment to finally react. What?? He looked at Jungwon who had a bright smile on his face, clapping to congratulate him. Me? He mouthed to Jungwon who nodded fast.

Jay smiled widely and took a moment to say what he needed to the judges as well as TXT and BTS. Giving one final bow before walking off to the podium, hugging the other three whom are equally as happy as Jay was right now.

He turned back around on his podium and looked over at the final members. Jungwon looked really nervous now. His heart pounding in his chest. C'mon now...

"The fifth debut member is.."