poemsbygrace

Fantasized

I fantasize about you and I.
My heart means well.
My mind mind tells me that truth.
I fantasize about us spending time together.

My mind has a hard time defining us
Just a bond,
Just a friendship,
Or a relationship?
I've always yearned for friends to lovers in TV and Movies, but I don't to create you into a fake movie plot.

I've been alone for years.
I've been getting used to being on my own,
But I don't want that feeling to last forever.

I want to feel all the love and emotion.
I want to hold your hand.
I want to put my head on your shoulder.
I want to hug you.
Guilt lies in my heart for how I feel.
Especially because I want to know what it feels like to have our lips connect.

It's confusing for me,
based on how I think of you.
I admire you
For the words you've given me
From your knowledge
From your heart
I have a crush on you, but I love you,
but I know the difference between a crush and love.

I've never gotten butterflies from anyone until you came along
That was scary and exhilarating,
but so amazing at the same time,
but I didn't know what to do with myself.

I know you're no good for me.
I don't want to ruin your life.
It's better that you don't know, even though in my heart aches from being around you to
thinking of you.

My feelings aren't fair to you,
but it's also not fair to me.
Now I don't know what I would do without you in my life.
I don't want anything bad to happen to you.

I was scared and confused when I saw that text.
Someone else texted for you, so I was left confused.
To read that message my heart sunk in my chest.
I don't know what I would do without you in my life.

My heart wants you,
but my mind tells me not to.
I feel like I'm lying to you whenever I look at you.
I didn't expect you to reciprocate my feelings for you.
I'd rather you think of me as someone you like,
but my mind tells me "only as a friend,"
but my heart wants a relationship.

One of the reasons why I like you so much is because we do so well as friends.
We have so much in common.
You let me open up to you,
you can do the same too.

I've slammed doors, cried for hours.
I've fantasized.
I get caught up in my fantasizes that will never come true.

I wanted to be a writer.
You wanted to be a writer.
I love baking.
You love baking.
I love doing hair.
You love doing hair.

I've fantasized baking with you.
Arguing with you that we start throwing food at each other.
I've fantasized doing each other's nails.
I've fantasized us doing each other's hair.
I've fantasized holding your hand.
I've fantasized going to Barnes and nobles with you.
I've fantasized having long conversations with you.
Staying up all night talking.
Watching movies with you.

I get so caught up in my fantasizes.
I don't know how to let go.
My heart is torn
But my head confronts the truth.
My heart wants you,
My head tells me not to.