shes not her but shes all them

Neva

a 17 year old girl. loves music, especially genres like shoegaze, grunge, rock, metal, dreamo, hyperpop, etc. she listens to anything, unless its country or pop or czech rap. she connects songs to seasons to people and periods of her life, to places, to numbers, to colors.
her favourite color? who knows. she doesnt like to pick, she sees beauty in everything. she thinks all the colors are unique in their way. but she will probably say black, or dark red, well generally dark colors, usually cold ones too. favourite number? for some reason she likes the odd ones. but an 8 is beautiful to her. she sees it as a symbol. oh symbols? yeah, she loves them, weird obsession. oh speaking of obsessions, shes obssessed about many things. for example, her favourite person (fp), flowers, drying and preserving dead flowers, music, electric guitars (they look so hot fr), aesthetics, plants, jewellery, sky, sunsets, stars, universe, theories, poems, meanings, metaphors, you name it. shes a daydreamer, and a nightworker. shes not a morning person, but she wants to. she has some hobbies, but she also feels like she never feels fullfilled by anything. she plays the electric guitar, but started with an acoustic one, she tried bass and did quite well for the first time, shes looking forward to getting one. no one knew that she hated guitars before, she always found them goofy somehow. now shes obsessed by it. she played piano ever since she was little, but just some noob tapping. when she was young, she always begged her mama to let her attent piano classes, but mom always said no, because she was short in money. once she was 12, her parents forced her to attend piano classes, but at the time, she didnt want to. oh deat, the days in total she cried next to her teacher staring at her with anger in his eyes, in those 4 years, scarred her relationship with piano for life. its fine, she loves to play the one same song over and over. she forgot to read notes, forgot music theory, but thats fine. she trains her muscle memory by playing the one song she heard once on instagram when she was 11. via voicemail recorded the video, because she couldnt afford spotify. listened to it until she was 14. everyday. every single day. it remained in her heart. it was a track from a movie Amelie, called comptine d un etre. she learned the left hand and she was so happy, played on repeat for hours. slowly she learned the right hand and since then masters it all the time. its her comfort song. bet she will play it as a grandma as well.