Gulf of Lies

Chapter 2 | All Things End

Anger had never been one of Leah's go-to emotions. Around other people, she was a shy, quiet, go-with-the-flow type. Her own mind might have been filled with doubt, fear, and anxiety, but she had never directed negative emotions toward anyone else.

Until Carlos decided to share his opinions on her impromptu vacation.

"I'm sorry, you're hopping on a plane to Florida with this girl from work to—what—spend a week with her friends? People you've never met? Christ, Leah, I knew you were naive, but this is a whole new level."

Leah paused momentarily, a partially folded shirt in her hands. The sentiment was not shocking to her. Carlos had always joked about her innocent, people-pleasing personality. It was the irritation in his voice that brought her to a halt.

For almost a month—longer, probably—he had hardly cared what she did. They had been roommates that rarely spoke to each other, and they certainly didn't ask personal questions about each other's lives anymore.

She had planned to tell Carlos about her upcoming trip at some point. When he walked into the bedroom, looking for a suit for a professional dinner with some lawyers he met at his internship, he asked why her suitcase was on the bed. The story had come flooding out.

"Frances is not just some girl from work," Leah muttered. "She's my friend. And it's a trip to the beach. Isn't that supposed to be fun?"

Without looking, she could tell Carlos was rolling his eyes. He walked to the closet, then paced back toward the bed where her clothes were laid out.

"Sure, for a normal person." His emphasis made it clear what side of normal he thought she was on. "But you freaked out that time I took you to the lake house for two days."

Leah clenched her jaw, remembering the trip. It had been before her OCD diagnosis, before she started therapy. The 'freak out' he referenced had actually been a full-blown panic attack.

His family's lake house had been big and unnaturally quiet, and her usual compulsion to ensure the door was locked had progressed to checking every window, door, and crack in the house until her brain was convinced that there were no possible entrances for intruders. It was in the middle of the night, and she had been walking around the strange house for hours.

Carlos had woken up that night and tried to get her back to bed. His attempts had only worsened her anxiety, leading to the worst panic attack of her life. Thinking back, that trip had probably been the beginning of the end for their relationship, but it had inspired her to finally seek help.

Leah tried to calm her bubbling frustration, saying, "I've done a lot of work since the lake house. My therapist thinks I can handle it."

Her therapist had actually been excited when Leah brought up the trip. She thought it showed great progress that Leah could even consider such a change from her routine and hoped it would prove just how far she had come. They arranged for her next weekly session to be over the phone. Plus, she was told to call day or night if she experienced a crisis.

Carlos snorted. "Glad to hear you're all better now."

She knew his opinion about her 'problem,' her therapy sessions, her daily medication. He thought mental illness diagnoses were a farce, that people just needed to toughen up. He had belittled her enough times, implying she was weak. For a long time, she had believed him.

Her anger grew as she realized all the crap she had heard from him for years. As if the subtle put-downs weren't enough, he had been outright dismissive of the amazing progress she had made in the past year. She decided not to believe anything he said anymore.