Split (MCR fanfic/Frerard)

1. - Have you heard the news that you're dea-... dreaming?

Gerard felt like he was freezing to death. The cold was creeping up on his spine, freezing his brain, then his whole upper body, then finally, his legs. He was unable to think. He felt numb, as if he was injected with sedatives. His pale skin was freezing and burning up at the same time.

What the hell happened?!

He remembered falling asleep, which had never happened to him before. It never happened to anyone, in fact, because that's how humans work! The exact moment of falling asleep can never be remembered... right?

But he did now. He remembered. It was the weirdest, creepiest feeling he's ever had. It sent chills down his spine, as if he wasn't already cold by now. Falling asleep was a kind of hypnotizing feeling, as if he'd have drank poison and was feeling himself dying, slowly fading away, but still conscious, feeling and experiencing the moment the darkness consumed him, dragging him away from reality, as if he was picked up and blown away by the wind.

What happened? He doesn't remember waking up, at least, not in his room, where he fell into the dreamworld. Is he half-asleep? Is he having sleep paralysis? He's had it once or twice in his life and it wasn't like this. It was horrific, and there was nothing that would make Gerard want to experience that shit again, but it was different. Not like this... This was not that kind of numbness, this was like he was... in a different world? In an odd state of existence, crawling inside the thin line between life and death, sleep and awakeness, insanity and reality.

Finally, he forced himself to open his eyes.

He sat up and looked around. The place was strange, everything had the same, whiteish color, like he was in a weird movie, everything around him was white, so white that it almost looked blurry, and the outlines were faded. He felt dizzy and his eyes hurt from looking too much, so he closed them again, tearing up. The dark was comforting after the blinding white. He could think again.

He tried to concentrate on finding the answer to the most important question: where the hell was he?

There didn't seem to be any logical answer to this question, so he guessed.

Was he in prison? What did he even do? Was he drugged and now he's hallucinating? Or did he...

Suddenly, it clicked to him. What if he died in his sleep? Is this the death of him? Did his life of 25 years just end like that? All of it, gone, without a warning signal or a chance to prepare himself, to fucking say goodbye?!

Fuckinghellfuckinghellfuckinghell...

If he could have felt his heartbeat at that moment, it surely would have sped up. He was trembling and a tear rolled down his left cheek, getting mixed up with the sweatdrops falling from his forehead.

He stopped himself before he could start seriously panicking, and tried to think rationally. He attempted to make a list of things he was sensing, in order to help himself solve the most important problem, to find out what happened to him in the past... what? Minutes? Hours? Days? He had no idea for how long he was out, or if time even existed in this place. If he was dead, it most definitely didn't.

First, he noticed he couldn't feel anything he touched. He even pinched himself, but nothing. All he felt was the godforsaken freezing cold. Well, that was definitely a pro-argument of death, he admitted to himself bitterly.

Second, he was definitely in some kind of alternate universe, which was a sign of the existence of some sort of afterlife, or pre-state of the final fade to the void. Damn it, he really fucking died, didn't he?

It was odd to wrap his mind around the fact that he was probably lying dead in his room right now. He always imagined death/afterlife (if there was one) differently than this, and honestly, every single one of his fantasies was better than this crap. Hell, he never even thought he was going to feel his consciousness after death, he always thought nothing came after death! Was he really going to have to spend eternity alone, in a white place like this? Like a prison for eternity? That's just cruel.